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1 WHEN is the time to forgive?
2 WHY o WHY did i do this?
3 WHEN do things get back normal?
4 WHY didnt i say no?
5 WHEN is it time be trusted by love ones?
6 WHY did i become a GA?
7 WHEN do you learn trust yourself?
8 WHY didnt i believe in myself?
9 WHEN can i be happy again?
10 WHY put everyone through this pain?
11 WHEN will the resentment stop?
12 WHY didnt i STOP LOOK & THINK?
Hi njb68,

I started my recovery after my last bet on 27/12/2011 so I am experiencing the same as you in asking these questions. I will try to explain what I have learnt so far.

1. I have not managed to forgive myself yet, but know this is an important step. As for other people, most have forgiven me but it will be some time before they trust me.
2. You did this as we all do because the illness and addiction takes over. You are not weak.
3. I don't know, but I feel thinks started to return to normal after my first meeting and keep getting better. i wouldn't say I want normal as the only normal I remember I was gambling.
4. Same as number 2. No amount of willpower alone can beat this illness, you are not weak you are ill.
5. Give them time, some will trust quicker than others. Some may never fully trust again but ultimately let them see your change. Most people respond to change.
6. Again there is nothing you could have done. By the time the illness starts setting in its normally too late to see the signs.
7. That is a good question, ultimately I will never trust myself around gambling. I cannot afford to get complacent. By not trusting myself I feel I have the control. This may be different for others.
8. I think again the illness makes you not see things others see. It destroys you from within, it makes you feel worthless and you shut off from reality.
9. As soon as you choose to be. Decide from this day on to be happy, I laughed at this. But try it, I am not saying it wont be hard but if you make a concious decision to be happy, you can be!
10. You didn't mean too, the illness made you blind to the pain you were causing others. You can't undo this but you can make sure it does not happen again.
11. After 21 days I am still asking myself this, all I can say is that everyone is different. But from long term abstainers it does appear that this will happen.
12. The illness. It doesn't allow for sensible thinking.

I hope you did not find this condescending I just felt the need to share my similarities, perhaps it will help, it helped me to reply to you.

Hindsight is a pointless luxury, a life without gambling is is a positive future!

The "why" is because you are a compulsive gambler and the "when" is when you decide it's time.

Take care

Hi Njb,

Hmm some of these questions I 've thought myself....and some i still haven't got answers for...

What I have worked out is I am addicted to compulsive gambling and if I don't take this illness seriously, I am liable to repeat history and create even more damage..

Maybe some questions will never have answers...Yet I believe with all my heart if I am still gambling I wouldn't be alive to have hope for the future...

So if you are interested, check out where your nearest GA meeting is? Details on main ga page - meeting tab...

I can't promise you answers, but I can say GA has helped me get to a place where I can start looking...

In unity
Thanks all too your replies i am currently on the GA programme been clean for 11 days.
Went to 1st meeting last thurs will be attending again tomorrow and for the forseable future.
Once again thanks for your replies.
As i say to my partner I CAN & I WILL do this.
My name is Neil and i am a CG think positive & stay strong bye for now!!!.

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