Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Today is the day I finally admit it to myself
#1
Hello all,

Currently I am sitting here in the knowledge I am several hundred over my overdraft, I have no idea what I'm going to do about that or how I will get the money, my wage at the moment won't cover it. I had a bet on today that would of won me that money, that would of solved everything, it was a treble actually and two of the results came in, I was waiting for one more goal to be scored in a match and everything would be right again... I think you can guess what happened. The realisation fell on me and I cried, I sat there and cried for half an hour. I felt pathetic, my life was pathetic, there was no point to it any more. It just felt like the world was against me, now I know I was merely feeling intensely sorry for myself but still, at that moment in time I felt like nothing. I hated it.

That is when I realised, I am a compulsive gambler.

As soon as I get money, the first thing I think about is what I'm going to bet it on, how much I can make with this amount etc. starts off with a small bet here, if I lose I continue and when I win, I continue as I'm never satisfied. I am in under the delusional belief I can win big time, that winning hundreds isn't good enough, I can double that. I don't know why I think I deserve more, it may just be greed, either way I can't stop till I have literally spent all my money and everything the bank will allow me.
I have decided to sell some material items that aren't necessary in my life to try and pay back some of the money I owe, I think this will be good for me, will make me realise there are consequences to my actions, that my problem is serious and I should sort it out now before it gets worse, before bigger things are on the line, like so many of you have experienced.
I do all my gambling online, so I am also going to block my cards from all these websites.
My belief in this is, I have got myself into this mess, not I need to get myself out of it.

I have never been honest about my problem, not even to myself till today. I am taking the first steps and I thank you for taking the time to read this and for this website which allowed me to share a problem with people who understand.
Reply
#2
Hi, today is also the day i am facing up to the truth.Everything you said i can relate to, i just spent the last few quid in my pocket on a long shot that would of recouped my losses.I spent a week gambling and winning up to a few hundred, then losing it in thirty minutes on a roulette machine in the bookies. The first money goes in a flash... i`ll get that back no probs... another load down the line and i know it`s time to walk but i can`t. You see when im winning i`ve got life sussed.... when i`m losing i`m the biggest idiot on the planet.The rest of the money soon follows culminating in the enevitable final gamble that will recoup everything i`ve lost.The walk out of the bookies is humiliating, thinking everyones looking and sneering " what a mug". So today im admitting i have a problem.
Reply
#3
hi mate, your story really took me back to what i used to be like, everything hindering on the next spin or goal or race, if it comes in everything will be ok, ill be even, again and again i believed this lie, the problem is us, like you touched on even when i did manage to win back my loses i would continue to gamble and loss again and again. If this was the only problem I had then the answer would be simple. I would never place the first bet and therefore avoid the consequences of my insatiable appetite for gambling. Sadly i am a compulsive gambler which means that i can not keep the certain consequences of gambling in my mind. After a short time without a bet the consequences dont feel so bad anymore, maybe i will do it differently, just one bet, ill handle myself better now, ive learnt my lesson and i think i can control it, or im so skint i might as well bet anyway. This sort of thinking led me back to gambling again and again, i just cannot stay stopped. The frustration and self pity and self loathing i had was unbearable, i thought i was so weak. But i gambled again. I ended up going to a ga meeting and realized that i suffered from this illness that centers in my mind, i was told that people rarly recover on thier own and that there was a simple program of action which would totally remove the obbsession with gambling and that if i worked it to the best of my ability that i could recover and have a happy gamble free life.i got a sponser and worked the 12 steps of recovery, and work a daily program. as a result i have not had a gamble for nearly a year and a half and my life has continued to improve, but best of all by following the suggestions given by my sponser i feel like i never gambled, i am never tempted. i hope you find your way to a meeting, gd luck sam
Reply
#4
Hi Guest,

I always believed my next bet would be the answer to my problems, so i kept placing the next bet...The problem is with this addiction I couldn't stop...Even when I was winning, I'd want more....Until eventually i lost once again...

I'm sure your busy having a good look at the whole of the GA site, so you'll know meetings and the GA recovery program is the basis of my recovery... It could be the basis of your life too if you have a desire to stop gambling...

Why not see where that nearest meeting would be? Details on the Meeting tab above...

All the best
Smartie
Reply
#5
Hi Guest,

Sometimes the obvious solution is the right one.

You say "I do all my gambling online" - you also say "I have decided to sell some material items that aren't necessary in my life to try and pay back some of the money I owe" - now I may be being very simplistic here, but perhaps you could kill a whole flock of birds with just the one stone?

Attendance at Gamblers Anonymous (GA) meetings worked for me. You don't need a computer to attend, just turn up.

The only requirement for GA membership is a desire to stop gambling.

Be careful when you sell your item(s) however, take care to ensure that the monies raised goes to your creditors............and is not "recycled" into further misery for you and your loved ones by gambling it.


Yours in GA unity


'Poster' David (Barnsley)
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)