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Day 1
#1
Wow yesterday I told my wife about my addiction,that has to be the hardest thing I've ever done.the look on her face the agony she must have felt will haunt me forever.i consider myself to me normal married 2children 2 grandchildren dog. I don't feel normal today I've wrecked everything how will my wife be feeling now I'm guessing she hates me doesn't know who I am what I am.i know I've done the right thing telling her but I've broken her heart and trust forever. I'm hoping our marriage is strong enough I'm sure it is but only time will tell. Took a day off today could not face work been to the doctors given me some phone numbers made an appointment to seek professional help also looked at where my local meetings are and will be going to a meeting ASAP.go on holiday in 5 days for week in the sun hope that goes alright.any useful comments or pointers will be very much appreciated here's hoping its a new start and better life for me and family.i think what would be useful to know of people is how there partners coped I'm really worried about that side of things I'm sure I can recover with the right help I want to more than anything else. I love my family so much I can't believe I'm sat here writing this how the hell did I get here <!-- s:?: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" title="Question" /><!-- s:?: -->
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#2
Thanks radish for taking the time to reply.hope things are going well for you. The way I'm seeing things at the moment are now I've told my wife my life is going to get better with help and plenty of determination but I've ruined her life, how is that fair I feel terrible just unloaded all my problems onto the most important person in my life, Christ she must hate me more than she thought was ever possible.because we are going on holiday Wednesday we are both scared to bring it up to much trying to keep it looking as normal as possible so the kids don't know what's going on and at least they can have a good time.not gambled since last Wednesday so that's something positive if nothing else.
Many thanks in advance if anyone else takes the time to post
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#3
Thanks Brian for taking the time to reply hope alls well with you.i have to say it is the worse experience of my life still can't believe I did it I've wanted to tell her many times before but could never bring myself to do it always found an excuse Christmas Easter birthday etc, sure we've all been there.something just clicked I had to tell her I no longer want to be a lying deceitful person. In my mind we've never gone without great holidays presents for Christmas birthday never an issue I had my money and my wife had hers we would pay for different things but everything was paid, then I far as I was concerned the rest was mine,I realise now we could have had a lot more if I hadn't wasted the money gambling. At the moment I have no interest in going into the bookies hope it stays like that but be foolish to think that.like I've mentioned in first post got things in place for when I return from holiday so here's hoping for a nice break try and put it in the back of my mind then hard work starts when I get back.
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#4
Hi everyone just an update from me,had a great holiday went a lot better than I thought it ever could, weather not great but really good week.we chose not to speak too much about my gambling problem which was hard but in hindsight it was the right thing for us at the time.had a one to one session which was useful talked about the problem,explained how gambling progressively changes.my problem is roulette machines in the bookies so she explained how the work,how they suck you in if you are a compulsive gambler.not blaming the machines just a bit of science into what and how we react to them so that was interesting.then last night went to my first ga meeting,I was scared waiting outside but as soon as I went in everyone was friendly and welcoming.i won't go into to much detail of the evening but if anyone out there is thinking its not for me please pluck up the courage to go its a must I would say.just being with people who are going through the same things,feelings etc just makes sense.so I'm already looking forward to next week not had a bet for 3weeks so chuffed with that. Thanks again for everyone who has took the time to respond and read my post good luck with your own recovery.one day at a time <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->
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#5
Hi Bryan
Thanks for taking the time and effort to read and reply.
I would like to ask you a question please hope you don't mind, at the meeting one member said I'm a compulsive gambler no bet since 1977 and you also say still here after 25 years I understand there's no cure for compulsive gamblers but I'm a bit freaked out does this mean I will always have To go to meetings for ever or do you now go more to help out others which in turn helps you out. Hope this makes some sense,sorry to be a pain just looking for all the advice I can get at the moment I'm never going back so only looking forward one day at a time
Many thanks Bryan

Cheers Nigel
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#6
Hi everyone
Just a bit of an update on my progress. Been going to ga meetings for 3weeks now and things are going well.anyone thinking maybe its not for me please give it a try,but one thing I've learnt is that you have to want to stop gambling not just go because you wife husband partner wants you to go.you have to go for yourself.i was ready to give up with gambling it was making me Ill with stress and worry. There's a better life out there for us all. I know it's early days I've not had a bet since may 9th so that's an achievement. If anyone out there is struggling to pluck up the courage to tell a partner I told my wife 6weeks ago we are going through a rough patch at the moment but she is sticking by me as long as I don't return to gambling.please please if you can tell someone do it don't suffer in silence I've broke my wife's heart but I'm glad I did it I now know I can get my life back to what it used to be and we can be happy again
Good luck to everyone
Cheers ccfc1972
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#7
hi darren
thanks for taking the time to reply, never sure if people bother to read my post but they must be so thats good i know it helps me so hopefully it will help others.im off to an open meeting tuesday theres one close by which are celebrating 6 people reaching certain timescales in there recovery so well done to them.wife cant make it tuesday which im gutted about but at least she was willing to come,six weeks ago she wanted to kill me so we are making progress.im going with my best friend which will be good so at least he can speak to people or just listen give him some idea what goes on and why im attending ga.hope your recovery is going well it takes time small steps.i know im in a better place now even though it only been six weeks.still got the debt which i will sort slowly i know its important but my recovery is more so.only looking forward cant do anything about where ive been but definatly not going back and only looking to the future good luck to all.
ONE DAY AT A TIME
<!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->
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#8
Ccfc1972 Wrote:never sure if people bother to read my post but they must be so thats good i know it helps me so hopefully it will help others.

<!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin --> appreciated..

Supporting others in GA is a big part of recovery...

In unity
Smartie xx
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#9
Hi everyone..
im still doing really well with the gambling last bet 9th may.feeling really positive about that side of things.
But ive b <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin --> een posting on here trying to help others which i think sorry i know helps me .
Im now realising that ive been so busy with me that ive been neglecting the emotional side of things.my wife has struggled to open up about my issues and i think ive used this to my advantage i thought if i dont mention it neither will she i went home from meeting last night really feeling great positive had a chat to my wife about the meeting then we got talking about my issues and she is really down and depressed.ive been obessed with me and just presummed she was dealing with it ok.i was totally wrong .so apologies in advance i wont be posting for a while im concetrating on me and my family. think ive been trying to run before i can walk helping others when i need to help us .so good luck everyone be strong and committed to ga i reckon it works if you let it.ONE DAY AT A TIME
speak soon
cheers ccfc1972
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#10
Ccfc1972 Wrote:Hi everyone..
im still doing really well with the gambling last bet 9th may.feeling really positive about that side of things.
But ive b <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin --> een posting on here trying to help others which i think sorry i know helps me .
Im now realising that ive been so busy with me that ive been neglecting the emotional side of things.my wife has struggled to open up about my issues and i think ive used this to my advantage i thought if i dont mention it neither will she i went home from meeting last night really feeling great positive had a chat to my wife about the meeting then we got talking about my issues and she is really down and depressed.ive been obessed with me and just presummed she was dealing with it ok.i was totally wrong .so apologies in advance i wont be posting for a while im concetrating on me and my family. think ive been trying to run before i can walk helping others when i need to help us .so good luck everyone be strong and committed to ga i reckon it works if you let it.ONE DAY AT A TIME
speak soon
cheers ccfc1972

In a way we are the lucky ones ccfc1972..
we come to ga..let out all our concerns / worries etc and start to feel better...
our families though don't have it so easy generally

Even after 9 years of recovery I still get called out over things I did..but I have peace in my heart now.
Its definitely helped that my family go to Gam-anon..don't know if that's possible for your wife as the emotional pain doesn't just go away...then there's the worries etc...

Great thing is though if you keep attending GA meetings, putting the effort into the 12 step recovery programme etc things do start to turn around...but it takes time..

Smartie xx
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