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78 days... NO BET
#1
andy Wrote:My name is Andy,Im a compulsive gambler,and I havent had a bet for 78 days now,since that last rock bottom I havent even looked at any mutt racing or Donkey racing,ive steered away from any single form of gambling,even when its in your face 24/7,I just turn the tv off or if its on the radio it goes straight off.I DO NOT want to hear anything about any form of gambling,because as soon as it enters my minute straw brain,then the wheels start in motion and the betting thoughts enter my head.Not what I want,it has destroyed me to the brink of extinction and taken everything from me in the past 25 years and that is why I am where I am now.In a whole world of debt which will take about 100 years to pay back,if I stay clean.Now anything I actually do own,I want to keep,I work and scrat hard enough,I sweat blood,and work 24/7 if I can and after years of just giving it to the stinking poison bookies,that swagger about in flash cars and live luxurious lives in nice houses,that I and all of us compulsive gamblers have given them over the years.I want to hold on to what little I have and never give it to them.At the moment I am attending the odd meeting,not as regular as I should but its down to finances ,but I will try and go as much as possible and try and keep the deadly poisonous disease at bay.Just for today I wont gamble.Although my existance has got no better,Its still the same I just exist every day,thats all,nothing else.Andy.

Hello Andy

Recovery for me is about progression. As my decline into gambling was a painful and slow fall into hell, my recovery into normal life can be a positive one but its still hard at times.

I see progression in your recovery...ok maybe your not working the GA 12 steps recovery programme fully yet (only based on what i'm reading..apologies if you feel you are) but I didn't at the start of my journey either. I didn't attend as regularly as I needed to and sadly I chose to return to gambling, but that return to gambling coupled with more hell was what reminded me that things this time really needed to change.

I no longer could give 50% effort to my recovery. For me recovery is 100%. To give only part of myself to recovery cheapened not only my life but those of my family, friends and loved ones who were living this nightmare with me.

So proud of you Andy for starting your journey. Hope you keep it going my friend. Have you started going through the 12 steps yet with a sponsor? How are you finding that?

Any questions you have feel free to share..

Smartie xx
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#2
Hi Andy

I am glad you are still with us! It is good to know that you are concentrating on 'putting the fire out', getting that bit of abstinence under your belt. Keep it going mate, don't worry about all the other stuff, do more when you are ready and/or have the means.

Financially, things are difficult for me right now, which hinders the amount of meetings I can go to. However, I do go to as many as I am able to just like you. Don't forget the online meeting on a Thursday evening in the chat room that might benefit you (and any others reading this).

You should be proud of yourself, I know what a struggle it has been, but plod on mate and keep your chin held high. Keep it simple and don't try to over analyse or take on too much in one go.

Big Dave
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