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Losers diary.
Your ,pain , anger , rage is apparent. What is not is step 1, that you are totally admitting defeat, and our ready to start your RECOVERY . The totally admiting defeat is there and if you go to GA meeting you might start to recover. Abstaining is not enough , the likely outcome is a return to gambling.
One question , why if you have read the replies to your posts, wouldn't you give yourself a chance and go and see what GA can offer you?
The only time I fail is when I stop trying Andy...
You're not the first to fear going back to a meeting after returning to gambling....many of us have been in that position...myself included...
I was welcomed with open arms when I did....but i needed to accept I had to change and really put the effort into my GA recovery...

That choice is there for you as it was for me....

All starts with a desire to stop gambling... but like with a fledging spark of a fire...if you don't give recovery fuel, it tends to soon die out

All the best
Smartie xx
You know what Andy, you go on like it's an impossible task. Like you're the only one who has ever had to go through hell. Do you not realise that the majority of us have all gone through exactly the same, if not worse?

It took me nearly 4 years to pay my debt off. If it wasn't for the fact that I paid myself well from a business I started it would have taken more like 10 years. But, it was never about the money. My recovery had nothing to do with it. In fact the lact of money was the least of my problems; I can live on peanuts, I proved that for over 24 years while gambling, my entire life was in recession before I came to GA. So, you see, while everyone else has been struggling over the past 5 or so years, it hasn't really phased me one bit.

The only time you have been abstinent for a long period in the past Andy is when you have been attending GA meetings. It is not the meetings' (or lack of meetings) fault that you have broken out, it's not GA or it's members fault that you have not opened your eyes to the bigger picture. And, it's not the bookmakers fault that you have an addiction to gambling.

The GA way works, what's that saying? 'It works if you work it!

Abstinence does not equal recovery.

Big Dave (Uxbridge/Eastcote)
bobsleightester Wrote:Yes I still feel the pain from my latest binge now 8 days ago.Having blown what I did,every day has been more of a struggle than usual,because really,just what is the point to get up knowing you have to work another year to get back to where you had crawled to again from the last binge before this latest one.My knees just wobble when I try and get out of my pit of 'despair' for another gruesome,horrendous day on this planet.Here I am again,ive written notes all over my house,bedroom,and in full view everywhere to remind me of what a loser I am,so that maybe it would stop me gambling again.But who knows,today I already had an urge to gamble even though I know its absolutely hopeless.Anyway Il just try and make it through the ordeal of getting up and trying to carry on today.

Sorry Bob that your still suffering...
I remember my days in the mire....its not a nice place...
Not that i'm free now...i'm still a compulsive gambler...but i'm working on my illness with the GA recovery program...
TC Bob....
Smartie xx

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