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The spiritual recovery helped me become healthier each day.
My Name is Dave of Beckenham. I Am becoming healthier in a spiritual way. Yet I am not a religious person.

How do we know if we in spirtual recovery or just abstaining.

For me I now understand that the addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms that I could not cope emotionally with life and people.

Step one life being unmanageable was an emotonal issue teied up with fears of emotonal intmacy.

A person who is not on a path to healing will often give up one addiction or obsession and escape in other ways.

Over a period of over 45 years I have heard many people say that the gambling is the worst to over come and harder to resolve.

How long to admit to nyself that I was escaping in one form or another.

For me I now understand that every fear I had as an adult was due to trauma or unhealed pains of my child hood.

The question why could I not be honest, in time I would recognize that as a child when I was honest I was punished or humilated in one way or another.

The question am I healing my pains today.

The question am I facing my fears today.

I do not want or need to gamble today.

How inept was I when I walked in to the spirtual recovery program, was I inept as a man, was I inept as a husband, was I inept as a father.

The obsessions and addictions were an indicator that I had poor resolve in how I felt with in myself.

Fear was a way of me protecting myself

Today I understand that living in fear stunts my spirtual growth.

I no longer want to live in fear any more.

I do not fear the gambling establishments today.

I use to say that I wanted to be normal.

Today I want to be healthier than normal.

What supposedly normal people say or do twoards each other is very unhealthy.

Am I threat to any other person today, are my actons and words healthy and respectful today.

Do I want people to respect me or fear me today.

When I talk about my past it is not about blaming or excusing myself in any way.

I really did not have a choice as a child to learn to live in fear and self doubt from a very early age.

When I reached adult age and got married in 1969 I was emotionally about 8 - 10 years of age.

The question is how mature am I today.

What is spirtual recovery.

What is the best way to heal from my past.

All the emotional abuse physical abuse and sexual abuse had an very serious deep seated emotional truam on my growth.

The spirtual recovery program has heled me move from victim to a well balanced person today.

The spirtual recovery program has heled me help myself learn to respect myself more each day.

I have survived all forms of abuse and today I am willing and able to protect myself from unhealthy people.

My healthy boundaries are set from a place of peace today.

I do not react in anger and rage as I use to do.

I do not need or want to hate any one today.

I do not need or want to fear any one today.

My pateince and tolerance grows daily for me each day.

By the way I am known as two names Dave L and Dave Of Beckenham.

Dave L was my first anonymous name on walking in to the spirtual recovery program.

The as I attended Croydon meetings there were so many Daves at the meeting that I was given name Dave Of Beckenham because I use to live Beckenham Kent.

As far as I am concerned people can call me what they like.

Am I a walker or talker today.

Do my actions match my words today.

As a sponsor do I see and value each person as an equal to me today.

Just because I have been clean of gambling for over 22 years does not make me an expert.

The person that breaks out gambling each time and goes back to the meetings and is honest has more strength than me today.

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave Of Beckenham

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