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I didn't go.
I have been struggling with a gambling problem for years. My family, friends and loved ones have done all they can. I had not gambled in over 12 months when I had a moment of weakness and lost a good chunk of my savings. This was towards the end of last year. Now, finances have caught up with me and I find myself in a position where I have to do something now before I fall any further into problems. I am not gambling currently but given that I stopped for 12 months I am aware that at any moment I am vulnerable. Things are retrievable currently. 
My partner noticed I was not myself and also finances gave things away. When confronted I crumbled and told her what had happened. She has been great. Really supportive. I promised only last week that I would attend my next local GA meeting and prove to her I was serious about getting help and ensuring I never succumb to gambling again. That meeting was tonight. I have been nervous all day and as the time drew closer these feelings intensified. I showered and got ready but once I was ready I basically froze. I sat down and watched the minutes tick by and became overwhelmed with panic and anxiety. As usual I began to make excuses for myself. I am so annoyed at myself that I have not attended. I have let my partner down aswell as myself and I cannot afford to not go to the next one.

Does anyone have any similar experiences?
I genuinely do want help with my addiction and am willing to attend meetings. I thought I had sorted my problem on my own having not gambled in so long but I can see now that I actually just ignored something that wasn't properly addressed.
Ultimately I just feel a huge amount of shame and disgust at myself for being this way in the first place and the thought of having to go and discuss my problems got the better of me. I have always found the idea of GA very daunting. I thought I would come here for some help so that I didn't completely waste the evening. 
I appreciate everyone here understands what it's like to be addicted to gambling. If there is any advice you can please give me that may help to ensure I do not miss the next meeting it would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

Messages In This Thread
I didn't go. - by 1521 - 05-02-2020, 08:50 PM
RE: I didn't go. - by smartie - 08-02-2020, 01:51 PM

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