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Abstaining isn't enough
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: shoebox
20-03-2019, 09:27 PM
» Replies: 1
» Views: 39
My daily diary
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: smartie
20-03-2019, 01:09 PM
» Replies: 85
» Views: 9,448
Heartbreak
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: Chris_b
15-03-2019, 07:39 PM
» Replies: 6
» Views: 392
Breaking Pattern
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: Furious
09-03-2019, 05:50 PM
» Replies: 127
» Views: 5,923
Requirements for using th...
Forum: Gamblers Anonymous Q & A Section
Last Post: scorp_io_32
08-03-2019, 08:16 AM
» Replies: 2
» Views: 192
Shoebox's Story
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: shoebox
07-03-2019, 06:08 PM
» Replies: 9
» Views: 904
Check in & Declarations
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: shoebox
20-02-2019, 02:30 PM
» Replies: 112
» Views: 34,957
What is a sponsor????
Forum: Gamblers Anonymous Q & A Section
Last Post: smartie
06-02-2019, 12:47 PM
» Replies: 10
» Views: 10,179
Hi My Names Ty
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: Chris_b
02-02-2019, 09:19 PM
» Replies: 1
» Views: 350
Helo
Forum: Share Section
Last Post: shoebox
29-01-2019, 05:12 AM
» Replies: 1
» Views: 327

 
  Abstaining isn't enough
Posted by: Chris_b - 20-03-2019, 06:33 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

If nothing changes then nothing changes. If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. These are just two examples of sayings that a lot of compulsive gamblers should be able to identify with. 
It is quite a simple formula for abstaining from gambling. Attend a meeting regularly, give over your money, don't visit gambling establishments, physical or virtual, be accountable to another person for your time. Do those things and you should stay off gambling.BUT, what happens when you are faced with a situation that might take you back to gambling to escape dealing with it? It could be stress at work, money issues, sometimes just the fact it's raining! Our addiction will find any way to get you back at it.

Long term recovery, not just abstinence, comes from change within. Looking at ourselves, finding our triggers, getting rid of as much fuel for the flame of addiction as possible.
Now this isn't easy as it means admitting we have flaws much deeper than just gambling, but it is worth the work if it helps keep addiction at bay, at the same time helping us become better people.
If you are able to attend a Steps meeting or group I would recommend it. It might be a meeting with a counsellor but in my experience it helps if someone has experienced what you're talking about.


So that's my post. If all you do is attend meetings, what happens when you stop attending? My experience was I relapsed. I hope you're different but if you're like me, give a change program a go.

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  Requirements for using the hall
Posted by: scorp_io_32 - 07-03-2019, 04:48 PM - Forum: Gamblers Anonymous Q & A Section - Replies (2)

Hi there

Recently I have received an email making some requests for the continued use of the hall for GA meetings.

1. The name of a trained first-aider
2. and Fire Marshall
3. Public Liability insurance certificate

Given that we are an anonymous organisation how do I provide names for 1 and 2
Does the organisation have insurance that covers us or will we need to get our own?

We are a very small group that doesn't get much support from the organisation but struggles on.

Apologies if this is the wrong place for this post.

Thanks

Chaz

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  Heartbreak
Posted by: Ange - 12-02-2019, 11:00 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (6)

Hi my husband is a recovering compulsive gambler who has walked out on me, he left me and will not talk to me, he is acting like he hates me! I was going to the family group at gam anon and I thought our life was probably going to be in the best place it had ever been and it really was getting better he was doing so well, after all the years the gambling had nearly destroyed us! Well I am heartbroken because now he is in recovery which is brilliant but I do not understand why this has happened I know that he used to say that every time something good happened he seemed to destruct but I just don’t know because I read about people who come through recovery but has anyone any experience of this happening during recovery, I am heartbroken and confused and still suffering and trying to navigate through what has happened as well as recover myself still from the years the effect of his illness has had on me! I feel like I really believed in him when nobody else did not even himself, stood by him through so much and now he has thrown me away without any explanation!!

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  Hi My Names Ty
Posted by: Tyger79 - 01-02-2019, 05:53 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

Hi my names TY hopefully today was the last time that i gamble
How many times have i said that?
Undecided

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  Helo
Posted by: Boogle - 29-01-2019, 02:22 AM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

Hi

I am new to this site. I have become addicted to online casinos, I have blown so much money I feel sick about it.

I need to stop I know that but I just don’t know how. I start every day saying I won’t gamble but by lunch time I find myself itching to get home and get online.


Help please

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  Isn't compulsive gambling basically a financial problem?
Posted by: shoebox - 23-01-2019, 07:34 AM - Forum: Gamblers Anonymous Q & A Section - No Replies

No, compulsive gambling seems to be an emotional problem. When in the grip of this illness, we create mountains of apparently insoluble problems. Of course, there are financial problems, but we also have to face family problems, employment problems, or problems involving ourselves with the law. We lose our friends and relatives have us on their personal blacklist.

Of the many serious problems we create, the financial problems seem the easiest to solve.

Upon entering GA and stopping gambling, we find income often increases and, as there is no longer the financial drain caused by gambling, there is soon relief from the financial pressures.

The most difficult task to be faced is that of bringing about a personality change from within ourselves. Most of us in GA look upon this as our greatest challenge and believe to be a lifetime job.

Extract from the "Questions and Answers about the problem of compulsive gambling and the GA recovery program" (Orange book) page 15.

Available from this website as a free download in the Literature section.

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  At it Again, Time For Change
Posted by: TheFutureIsBright - 13-01-2019, 08:53 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (5)

From the age of about 14, I have regularly placed bets on sport. Specifically, football, cricket and tennis.

I’m now in my early 30’s and feel it’s time to acknowledge that I have a problem. I have lost an inordinate amount of money throughout my 20’s and have rarely been in a position where I have been in the black and spending real money. The habit has prevented me from experiencing a lot of great things.

Like many, I have been in many holes, relapsed many times and have been stuck in the cycle of payday loans, credit cards and borrowing from family. I’m convinced that without the support of my family and fiancé, I would be on the streets or if not worse.

I have had many sleepless nights, letting the gambling take over completely, meaning that I can bearly focus on day-to-day tasks. The addiction has at times made me a wreckless person and I have been lucky to escape without a criminal record. Some of the things I have done to obtain funds to gamble are unspeakable and completely out of character. Not only this, it has made me aggressive, negative and completely focused on the past and ruing opportunities that I have blown.


As I write this, I have abstained for just 1 week, but my mood and productivity are at an all time high. I have been in a simlilar place before when I stopped for 9 months in 2015, but it is easy to forget the pain and horror that gambling can cause me and those that are close to me.

I have been to just one GA meeting, but plan to now attend on a weekly basis. I have signed up to GamStop and have been completely open with my fiancé.

What advice do people have for staying on the straight and narrow? I love how I feel right now, I have cleared the large manjority of my debt, get married this year and have a decent career. I don’t want to be the deceitful beast that stole my 20’s from me.

Any words of advice would be gratefully received.

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  meetings
Posted by: seacon - 11-01-2019, 08:32 AM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

attended first meeting last night-although only 4 of us it was really good and everybody contributed on the night-really helps to open up to strangers.

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  Advice about gaming please
Posted by: Worrier - 11-01-2019, 05:03 AM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

Hi, I am seeking advice to help my son. He is not a traditional type of gambler (if that exists) but is addicted to playing onilne games for which he pays money ( a lot) to buy 'power' (as I understand it) within his game. His relationship nearly ended when it was discovered recently that he had spent a vast amount of money on these games over the last couple of years & has accumulateda large debt despite saying he wasnt paying.
I realise this is a form of gamblng as he is paying money to get reward & we encouraged him to go to a GA meeting. He accepts he needs help & has been to 2 meetings but doesnt want to return as he feels 'the people there are not like him' and doesnt feel it can help him to just talk for a few minutes when he feels he needs deeper discusssion to explore the reasons he has been escaping in to this online world for many years.
I have searched but cannot find anything specifically tailored to this type of 'gambling' so now think he should get some one to one counselling. However in his area the counselling directory does not bring up many suitable counsellors and the ones it does appear to not have many years experience...
I can pay for some help for him but dont know where to start or how to choose the right preson and not waste the limited amount of money I have to spend. Is anyone able to advise please? We are in Hertfordshire. Thank you in advance.

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  New to GA - My story so far
Posted by: bengreg10 - 08-01-2019, 05:40 PM - Forum: Share Section - Replies (1)

Hi everyone,

This is my first post on the forum, so heres my story so far. 

I have been a compulsive gambler for 10 years. It started of as a bit of fun but soon escalated to addiction and the fun stopped. I hit rock bottom in 2014 when i ended up thousands of pounds in debt, owing money to several loan companies, friends and family. i eventually decided to take action and self excluded from the local bookmakers and each individual online betting site [before Gamstop was introduced]. I did not place a bet for almost 2 years and managed to clear a large amount of debt. 

However, i made a vital mistake - i thought i would be ok to gamble again. I thought i could control my addiction, even thought i had not actually admitted it was an addiction. Once my self exclusion expired, i soon started the downward spiral of gambling again at the end of 2016. I continued to chase losses until i lost it all again and ended up back at square one. It contributed to the breakdown in a relationship and had taken full control of my life. I continued gambling throughout 2017 without seeing the damage it was doing to me and my family. I ended up in significant debt again and needed help.

Time to take action - in July 2018 i completed the self exclusion to stop me gambling. I admitted that i had a problem and opened up to friends and family to the extent of my condition. How rewarding that was, a significant weight of my shoulders. I didn't fully commit to it until September 2018 when i joined GAMSTOP - an excellent way to stop access to the numerous betting sites. I had banned myself from some of the websites, but not all of them, until GAMSTOP.

Looking back, in reality i was never ready to quit gambling and get help for my addiction in 2014. By being open and honest i was able to put everything behind me and move on. It has been a struggle, i still get the urge to gamble, but as i have no access to it, it makes it easier.

My last bet was 15/09/2018. I attended my first GA meeting in Newcastle on Monday night [07/01/19]. The meeting was excellent, and very rewarding. I was welcomed in as a new member and was made to feel at ease. The people who chair the meetings are a credit to the GA, as are the numerous people who suffer from the same addiction and can relate to your experiences. i would strongly recommend to anyone considering attending a GA meeting to do so - they will make a huge difference in your recovery. 

Im taking it one day at a time. One more day without a bet. I find it helpful to keep a daily 'recovery' diary where i record how the day has gone in relation to my thoughts on betting. 

Thanks for the support!

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