06-05-2010, 08:57 PM
My name is Andy,a compulsive gambler.Ive now managed to get through this day without a bet,my 3rd day clean since the slip on Monday,and the pain and damage really comes into effect a day or 2 after for me.I have now got to start all over again,for the millionth time and try and gain some kind of strength I guess from yet another failure.I always feel ill and sick after,but again today I found my feet wondering into a bookies,even though it was for 2 minutes I knew I shouldnt be there,and had no intention of going there,just that the hideous,evi,devil that gambling is,it somehow conspired to make a bookmakers appear wherever I was at that time of day,and of course i am still reeling from Mondays losses,then the old feeling of,ive got to get my money back,comes into my half brain,then before I knew it,the gambling thoughts had took over again.But I got away with it,today,but I know it will be there every,single day forever and ever,and while Im still in this really pissed off mode and vulnerable more than usual,I guess Im in big danger of getting back on the merry go round of hell on earth of gambling.But I will try not to go near the dreaded places tommorrow.Andy.