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I Have had enough!!!!!!!
I posted earlier and wish top post again as your obviously following this, I think for you to research this desease then you must love really wish for things to change.

In your post you mentioned your two sons now these are important people why because they are probably at an age where to see "mum and Dad" argue will have some type of effect on there mind, although I am not saying that you are wrong.

Your husband who's name you havent mentioned needs to realise for you, for your sons how important it is he sticks to that programme of recovery, how life will be tough for him, just having pocket money, but he is doing it because he cannot escape responsibility and life and go to the bookies and ruin your futures also.

I want you to read my post to him, well the below part anyway.

There was a guy at our meetings who would argue over spending x amount on a pair of trainers for his son when he had X amount in his pocket to put on a one legged donkey.

I wasnt like that I was always generous but I hid my gambling very very well. The reason i said "enough was enough" was not because life would become "boring" without the thrill of gambling, but because I simply couldnt control it. Oh to sit in a room full of losers, losers who lost there wife, lost there families, lost there not that bad?? To try to follow a programme, be a decent guy, its not changing me. (these are the thoughts in my head!!!at the time!!)

But it was changing me....9months I was a good man..happy with life....she was happy with me. Then I lost my future wife....eventually lost my I was that guy, I was that bad....and yet still I fight...I come back like a punch drunk boxer....get off gambling fight it, fight it, am I however complete?? my family is gone, my business is gone.....

See its not about fighting this desease or bit by bit, its about admission, admission that somehow we accepted that we simply cannot fight this desease....willpower is simply not we had the foresight to follow a path...for ourselves and we accepted the consequences of our actions had implications on the way we would have to be treated.

Seven months after loosing the future wife I remember stading in an arcade chatting to a guy as we both played the bandits, gambling away, nagging free, smoking away the conversation was ironic in my destiny he said "im skint, my wife wont let me see the kids" I said just "stop gambling" he said "oh I cant impossible"...he was not the only one I met like this....whilst in action....

But that foresight led me to stop, not a simple way neither....more because I had to than was "always someone elses issue" or "its so easy for others"....but and the big but comes after you have actually spent a long time off it.

We realise that we were unbearable, unreasonable, and also unrational as people, how could anyone else actually think we were decent when we didnt think we had a problem. Then we start to look at what we acomplish through "not gambling" and its not really measurable in terms of "us" as people, unless we look at friends (ones we actually now have!!!) but it is measurable in terms of the things we bought for ourself, we stopped going one step forward and two back.

We took "one day at a time" towards being better people.....

You stay strong, stay calm, your husband must want what I have be a better person.

best wishes


Messages In This Thread
I Have had enough!!!!!!! - by Cat - 02-11-2010, 09:39 AM
Re: I Have had enough!!!!!!! - by helen - 03-11-2010, 01:59 AM
Re: I Have had enough!!!!!!! - by Barrieexgambler - 04-11-2010, 04:52 AM
Re: I Have had enough!!!!!!! - by cat - 22-11-2010, 11:56 AM
Re: I Have had enough!!!!!!! - by Barrieexgambler - 23-11-2010, 02:46 AM

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