09-05-2011, 04:24 PM
Hi today is the 1st time i have been on here and I have been gambling from 17 and now 27 and with my partner for 10 years. So although I am the gambler I can share my thoughts with you if you like.
Will he change? Hard to say but with your support it is more likely. I dont think my partner understands the urges that I have and the pain i go through with it although I have been much better the last 4 years things got so bad that i had no car no job and after 6 years she was going to leave me. SHE SAID SO! This gave me a massive jolt.
I knocked it on the head over night and although I have had 3-4 more than modest relapses in the last 4 years where I have lost a fair amount of money, I have never gambled the mortgage or the bills and never lost any where near the amount of money i did before that jolt. In real terms i was losing 80% wages (the rest were bills on pay day) and now i have just had bad moments.
She laid it on the line to me so that I knew she was leaving me unless i did the things i needed to do in order for us to have a functioning relationship.
The thing was I could admit I had a problem then and now I always tell my other half about relapses.
Saying that the only way to control me is to let me have money for specific things.
Example If i am going to the pub on a sunday then take a small amount of cash. Its my money but if i take the cash card I know there is a massive risk i will end up in the bookies thinking im invincible.
If i need petrol we fill up on the card and i transfer it over on internet banking.
All credit cards had to be cut up and the accounts closed. They need phomning and canceling. If not on a relapse I could easily get another card to me etc or new that there was a line of credit waiting for m
I dont want to preach as i dont have the answers but my experiences seemed relevant!
Good Luck
Will he change? Hard to say but with your support it is more likely. I dont think my partner understands the urges that I have and the pain i go through with it although I have been much better the last 4 years things got so bad that i had no car no job and after 6 years she was going to leave me. SHE SAID SO! This gave me a massive jolt.
I knocked it on the head over night and although I have had 3-4 more than modest relapses in the last 4 years where I have lost a fair amount of money, I have never gambled the mortgage or the bills and never lost any where near the amount of money i did before that jolt. In real terms i was losing 80% wages (the rest were bills on pay day) and now i have just had bad moments.
She laid it on the line to me so that I knew she was leaving me unless i did the things i needed to do in order for us to have a functioning relationship.
The thing was I could admit I had a problem then and now I always tell my other half about relapses.
Saying that the only way to control me is to let me have money for specific things.
Example If i am going to the pub on a sunday then take a small amount of cash. Its my money but if i take the cash card I know there is a massive risk i will end up in the bookies thinking im invincible.
If i need petrol we fill up on the card and i transfer it over on internet banking.
All credit cards had to be cut up and the accounts closed. They need phomning and canceling. If not on a relapse I could easily get another card to me etc or new that there was a line of credit waiting for m
I dont want to preach as i dont have the answers but my experiences seemed relevant!
Good Luck