08-08-2011, 09:20 AM
Nick,
I have spent over 30 years of my life saying the same thing. I used to look around at people who spent all day in bookies and planning their next big bet, and laughed at them. I was not the same as them, I was not interested in horses, greyhounds, footie betting etc. , only fruit machines (and later, the poker machines in bookies which I still think of as fruit machines). Surely this meant I was not addicted? Betting is filling in slips in bookies, but you play fruit machines. If I was only playing, then I couldn't be addicted, could I?
I knew I had a problem, but it was limited and manageable I thought. I was completely blinded to the impact this was having on my life, not just from a financial aspect but also from a personal perspective. Recently, having separated from my wife and finding myself both financially and spiritually bankrupt, I decided to man up and do something about it.
I got the courage to walk through the doors of a GA meeting about 10 weeks ago, and for those 70 days I can honestly say it is the best decision I have ever made.
For the first time in my life, I think I was honest enough to say those words "my name is ron and I am a compulsive gambler", and knew i was uttering them truthfully and not just trying to please those around me. It's taken me a while to understand what it really meant, but it does not mean I have the urge to gamble on everything. It just means I cannot have one bet on anything, as I have no control.
I really don't know where I would be if I hadn't accepted I needed help and managed to find it in the embrace of those rooms. I have started to understand myself better and those around me. I can 100% state that this is due to the warmth, understanding and support of the people I have met in GA, and I will be forever grateful for this. I hope that this will provide me with the strength to improve my life and stay away from the pain and loathing gambling has brought to me. I pray it is a lifetime's change, but all I can say is today I will not gamble, and that is as good as it gets. What I do know is I will continue to attend meetings as they give me strength to combat this illness.
Nick, take the plunge and go to a meeting. Help and support is there, you just need to want it.
Good luck in whatever you choose, and I hope you find a better life away from gambling.
Ron.
I have spent over 30 years of my life saying the same thing. I used to look around at people who spent all day in bookies and planning their next big bet, and laughed at them. I was not the same as them, I was not interested in horses, greyhounds, footie betting etc. , only fruit machines (and later, the poker machines in bookies which I still think of as fruit machines). Surely this meant I was not addicted? Betting is filling in slips in bookies, but you play fruit machines. If I was only playing, then I couldn't be addicted, could I?
I knew I had a problem, but it was limited and manageable I thought. I was completely blinded to the impact this was having on my life, not just from a financial aspect but also from a personal perspective. Recently, having separated from my wife and finding myself both financially and spiritually bankrupt, I decided to man up and do something about it.
I got the courage to walk through the doors of a GA meeting about 10 weeks ago, and for those 70 days I can honestly say it is the best decision I have ever made.
For the first time in my life, I think I was honest enough to say those words "my name is ron and I am a compulsive gambler", and knew i was uttering them truthfully and not just trying to please those around me. It's taken me a while to understand what it really meant, but it does not mean I have the urge to gamble on everything. It just means I cannot have one bet on anything, as I have no control.
I really don't know where I would be if I hadn't accepted I needed help and managed to find it in the embrace of those rooms. I have started to understand myself better and those around me. I can 100% state that this is due to the warmth, understanding and support of the people I have met in GA, and I will be forever grateful for this. I hope that this will provide me with the strength to improve my life and stay away from the pain and loathing gambling has brought to me. I pray it is a lifetime's change, but all I can say is today I will not gamble, and that is as good as it gets. What I do know is I will continue to attend meetings as they give me strength to combat this illness.
Nick, take the plunge and go to a meeting. Help and support is there, you just need to want it.
Good luck in whatever you choose, and I hope you find a better life away from gambling.
Ron.