07-11-2011, 08:55 PM
Hello people,
well this is my first step into recovery from my gambling addiction.
I have been here before but with drugs and alcohol...does this never end?
I am four years clean from the booze and cocaine, by stopping those i unleashed the gambling monster that was waiting for it's turn to rear it's ugly head yet again.
I started gambling (i guess) at five years old. When everyone thought i was cute pressing the button on the fruit machine in the pub. I actually got requests because i was apparently "lucky".
By the age of 11 i used to go to arcades myself with my school money.
I suppose it has always been a problem for me, and the amount of times i have promised myself never again leaves me filled with self hatred and loathing.
And a hole in my soul the size of Everest.
I am in so much money trouble i can't bear to think of it, i will soon be going to court for fraud.
Hilarious when you realize i am a single mother of two.
I wonder how i can be such a failure as a parent, i started working with a view to save money for them to go to college and i have given them nothing.
They deserve so much better, i hate that i am who i am and am so desperate to change my life once again for the better.
I really feel if i can get to some meetings it will help as the power of one addict helping another is without parallel. N.A meetings helped me with my other addictions and i am on my knees here.
I am trying to find a local daytime meeting to w11 or w12, if anyone could point me in the right direction i'd be very grateful,
Thanks you beautiful people
Gems
well this is my first step into recovery from my gambling addiction.
I have been here before but with drugs and alcohol...does this never end?
I am four years clean from the booze and cocaine, by stopping those i unleashed the gambling monster that was waiting for it's turn to rear it's ugly head yet again.
I started gambling (i guess) at five years old. When everyone thought i was cute pressing the button on the fruit machine in the pub. I actually got requests because i was apparently "lucky".
By the age of 11 i used to go to arcades myself with my school money.
I suppose it has always been a problem for me, and the amount of times i have promised myself never again leaves me filled with self hatred and loathing.
And a hole in my soul the size of Everest.
I am in so much money trouble i can't bear to think of it, i will soon be going to court for fraud.
Hilarious when you realize i am a single mother of two.
I wonder how i can be such a failure as a parent, i started working with a view to save money for them to go to college and i have given them nothing.
They deserve so much better, i hate that i am who i am and am so desperate to change my life once again for the better.
I really feel if i can get to some meetings it will help as the power of one addict helping another is without parallel. N.A meetings helped me with my other addictions and i am on my knees here.
I am trying to find a local daytime meeting to w11 or w12, if anyone could point me in the right direction i'd be very grateful,
Thanks you beautiful people
Gems