20-01-2012, 02:28 AM
Hello all,
Currently I am sitting here in the knowledge I am several hundred over my overdraft, I have no idea what I'm going to do about that or how I will get the money, my wage at the moment won't cover it. I had a bet on today that would of won me that money, that would of solved everything, it was a treble actually and two of the results came in, I was waiting for one more goal to be scored in a match and everything would be right again... I think you can guess what happened. The realisation fell on me and I cried, I sat there and cried for half an hour. I felt pathetic, my life was pathetic, there was no point to it any more. It just felt like the world was against me, now I know I was merely feeling intensely sorry for myself but still, at that moment in time I felt like nothing. I hated it.
That is when I realised, I am a compulsive gambler.
As soon as I get money, the first thing I think about is what I'm going to bet it on, how much I can make with this amount etc. starts off with a small bet here, if I lose I continue and when I win, I continue as I'm never satisfied. I am in under the delusional belief I can win big time, that winning hundreds isn't good enough, I can double that. I don't know why I think I deserve more, it may just be greed, either way I can't stop till I have literally spent all my money and everything the bank will allow me.
I have decided to sell some material items that aren't necessary in my life to try and pay back some of the money I owe, I think this will be good for me, will make me realise there are consequences to my actions, that my problem is serious and I should sort it out now before it gets worse, before bigger things are on the line, like so many of you have experienced.
I do all my gambling online, so I am also going to block my cards from all these websites.
My belief in this is, I have got myself into this mess, not I need to get myself out of it.
I have never been honest about my problem, not even to myself till today. I am taking the first steps and I thank you for taking the time to read this and for this website which allowed me to share a problem with people who understand.
Currently I am sitting here in the knowledge I am several hundred over my overdraft, I have no idea what I'm going to do about that or how I will get the money, my wage at the moment won't cover it. I had a bet on today that would of won me that money, that would of solved everything, it was a treble actually and two of the results came in, I was waiting for one more goal to be scored in a match and everything would be right again... I think you can guess what happened. The realisation fell on me and I cried, I sat there and cried for half an hour. I felt pathetic, my life was pathetic, there was no point to it any more. It just felt like the world was against me, now I know I was merely feeling intensely sorry for myself but still, at that moment in time I felt like nothing. I hated it.
That is when I realised, I am a compulsive gambler.
As soon as I get money, the first thing I think about is what I'm going to bet it on, how much I can make with this amount etc. starts off with a small bet here, if I lose I continue and when I win, I continue as I'm never satisfied. I am in under the delusional belief I can win big time, that winning hundreds isn't good enough, I can double that. I don't know why I think I deserve more, it may just be greed, either way I can't stop till I have literally spent all my money and everything the bank will allow me.
I have decided to sell some material items that aren't necessary in my life to try and pay back some of the money I owe, I think this will be good for me, will make me realise there are consequences to my actions, that my problem is serious and I should sort it out now before it gets worse, before bigger things are on the line, like so many of you have experienced.
I do all my gambling online, so I am also going to block my cards from all these websites.
My belief in this is, I have got myself into this mess, not I need to get myself out of it.
I have never been honest about my problem, not even to myself till today. I am taking the first steps and I thank you for taking the time to read this and for this website which allowed me to share a problem with people who understand.