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My name is Simmo
#14
Having a mental breakdown last year was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. It was my rock bottom that I needed to realise that I could not stop gambling on my own terms. It was possible for me to stop gambling on my own, but it never lasted. Sometimes 2 or 3 months, sometimes a year or two, but eventually, with the gambling triangle activated (money,time,desire), I would go back to my old ways and destroy the family finances once more. It's not just about money, as I destroyed my self-worth even more. As with the fire triangle of heat, oxygen and fuel, when all 3 are present you have fire and to put it out you need to take one away. Money=Fuel, time=AIR, desire=heat.

To keep the gambling fire out, I take away parts of the triangle, so they don't come together at once.

1. FUEL: All money and access to money is limited and fully transparent with the wife. I go through all the accounts with her anytime she likes and especially on payday. We have a budget using YNAB which is shared and we make financial decisions together.

2. AIR: I keep my mind busy, mainly with work, sometimes too much work, but I try not to have idle time on my own where I would have previously gambled.

3. HEAT: The desire to gamble is kept at bay by going to GA, and working the 12 step program. Even on a bad day, I have to remind myself that today's bad day is nowhere near as bad as it was whilst gambling. If I have the desire to gamble, I'm honest about it and share with fellow recovering gamblers, who are there to help me through the thoughts. The pilot light is always on!

Working the GA program is key to recovery, abstaining from gambling is not enough for me, as I know that that gambling was an avenue I would pursue to avoid the way I felt. I've not gambling now, but I still feel anxious and that was one of the feelings that I would try to avoid, gambling only ever made it worse, but it was still the first thing that I would reach for.

I've been on medication for 12 months and I've recently come off, I've noticed my anxiety sky rocket and it's the feelings that I'm having to deal with in other ways. I know that gambling will only make it worse, I've had momentary desires, it's what I do with those thoughts now is important. I talk about them, I know deep down that it's the addiction talking and not the way I want to live my life.

I'm now working hard to deal with my anxiety issues, through meditation, exercise, talking therapies, relaxation therapies, hypnosis, anything positive really. Gambling is NOT the answer, and it will only be a short term path of destruction once more, leading to increased anxiety in the long run.

Not gambling, one day at a time
dealing with anxiety, one day at a time.
dealing with the finances, one day at a time.

Living my life ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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Messages In This Thread
My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 08-11-2016, 01:04 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 08-11-2016, 01:21 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 09-11-2016, 02:28 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 10-11-2016, 12:50 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 10-11-2016, 08:37 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 17-11-2016, 01:50 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 17-11-2016, 03:07 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 21-11-2016, 03:19 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 14-12-2016, 09:47 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 03-01-2017, 10:54 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 23-01-2017, 05:02 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 22-02-2017, 10:45 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 24-03-2017, 11:05 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 07-04-2017, 02:56 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 06-05-2017, 11:04 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 16-06-2017, 12:33 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 30-06-2017, 05:35 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 01-07-2017, 02:51 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 05-07-2017, 01:11 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 05-07-2017, 10:10 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 05-07-2017, 03:48 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 10-07-2017, 04:00 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 17-07-2017, 05:14 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 01-08-2017, 03:12 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 02-08-2017, 01:04 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 03-08-2017, 11:02 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 26-09-2017, 10:06 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 01-11-2017, 02:04 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 30-11-2017, 12:41 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 18-01-2018, 03:11 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 18-01-2018, 10:31 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 20-02-2018, 07:26 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 14-03-2018, 02:11 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 22-03-2018, 08:58 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 10-04-2018, 12:55 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 10-04-2018, 03:46 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 16-04-2018, 11:28 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 25-04-2018, 10:44 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 18-05-2018, 02:07 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 24-05-2018, 09:49 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 30-05-2018, 09:47 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 31-05-2018, 11:17 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 01-06-2018, 01:44 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 11-06-2018, 02:41 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 14-06-2018, 11:55 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 29-06-2018, 09:41 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Chris_b - 30-06-2018, 03:04 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 09-07-2018, 09:45 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 24-07-2018, 02:15 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 24-07-2018, 06:24 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 30-08-2018, 02:56 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 02-09-2018, 08:26 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 03-09-2018, 10:14 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 13-09-2018, 10:26 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 13-09-2018, 04:31 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 13-09-2018, 09:27 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 26-10-2018, 08:45 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 08-12-2018, 02:16 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 30-12-2018, 09:27 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by shoebox - 15-01-2019, 04:11 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 30-04-2019, 03:38 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 20-06-2019, 06:42 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 19-07-2019, 02:45 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 23-07-2019, 04:59 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by LewB - 23-07-2019, 08:14 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 27-07-2019, 01:06 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 30-07-2019, 01:17 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 03-09-2019, 12:45 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 26-09-2019, 11:28 AM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 20-12-2019, 04:19 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by LewB - 20-12-2019, 05:21 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 21-12-2019, 02:52 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by smartie - 23-12-2019, 12:24 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 31-12-2019, 11:04 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 16-01-2020, 02:07 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by StrengthToStop - 20-05-2020, 02:33 PM

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