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My name is Simmo
#65
This year has been full of ups and downs, started with very low and it's been a struggle to stay afloat, I've wallowed in plenty of self pity, poor me! Wallowing doesn't change anything, if I am going to make changes in my life then I am going to have to take full responsibility for my actions, both past and present.

I made a massive breakthrough on the trauma issues, and finding room in my heart to forgive the person that abused me was the start of a huge shift in the way that I think and feel about the whole situation. 24 years of suppressing emotions, mainly furious anger, were lifted in a matter of minutes. When I first started therapy, and the subject was unearthed, it was suggested to me that in order for me to move on, I may need to look at forgiveness, and I remember very firmly that that was something that I was "NEVER" going to do. The idea was planted, I can't even believe it myself that 3 years later I have written a letter and read it to a dead person at the grave and CHOSEN to forgive him. By me CHOOSING to forgive him, I have taken back the power, and I CHOOSE to live my life without it being contaminated by the past.

All of the emotional pain that I've been through so far this year, I would most certainly used this as an EXCUSE to gamble, I CHOOSE every day to not gamble, don't get me wrong, there are days when the devil on my shoulder will try to convice me, "just one bet", "you've not gambled for over 3 years, maybe you can gamble sensibly this time". These initial thoughts are very quickly followed by the rational part of my brain that looks at the evidence. History tells me, that every time I gambled, no matter how much I won, I never did stop until it was all gone and more, so what evidence is there to prove otherwise, NONE.

Just for Today I will NOT gamble, One Day At A Time.

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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Messages In This Thread
My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 08-11-2016, 01:04 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 08-11-2016, 01:21 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 09-11-2016, 02:28 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 10-11-2016, 12:50 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 10-11-2016, 08:37 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 17-11-2016, 01:50 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 17-11-2016, 03:07 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 21-11-2016, 03:19 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 14-12-2016, 09:47 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 03-01-2017, 10:54 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 23-01-2017, 05:02 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 22-02-2017, 10:45 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 24-03-2017, 11:05 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 07-04-2017, 02:56 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 06-05-2017, 11:04 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 16-06-2017, 12:33 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 30-06-2017, 05:35 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 01-07-2017, 02:51 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 05-07-2017, 01:11 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 05-07-2017, 10:10 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 05-07-2017, 03:48 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 10-07-2017, 04:00 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 17-07-2017, 05:14 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 01-08-2017, 03:12 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 02-08-2017, 01:04 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 03-08-2017, 11:02 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 26-09-2017, 10:06 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 01-11-2017, 02:04 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 30-11-2017, 12:41 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 18-01-2018, 03:11 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 18-01-2018, 10:31 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 20-02-2018, 07:26 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 14-03-2018, 02:11 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 22-03-2018, 08:58 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 10-04-2018, 12:55 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 10-04-2018, 03:46 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 16-04-2018, 11:28 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 25-04-2018, 10:44 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 18-05-2018, 02:07 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 24-05-2018, 09:49 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 30-05-2018, 09:47 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 31-05-2018, 11:17 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 01-06-2018, 01:44 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 11-06-2018, 02:41 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 14-06-2018, 11:55 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 29-06-2018, 09:41 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Chris_b - 30-06-2018, 03:04 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 09-07-2018, 09:45 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 24-07-2018, 02:15 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 24-07-2018, 06:24 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 30-08-2018, 02:56 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 02-09-2018, 08:26 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 03-09-2018, 10:14 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 13-09-2018, 10:26 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 13-09-2018, 04:31 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 13-09-2018, 09:27 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 26-10-2018, 08:45 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 08-12-2018, 02:16 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 30-12-2018, 09:27 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by shoebox - 15-01-2019, 04:11 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 30-04-2019, 03:38 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 20-06-2019, 06:42 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 19-07-2019, 02:45 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 23-07-2019, 04:59 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by LewB - 23-07-2019, 08:14 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 27-07-2019, 01:06 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 30-07-2019, 01:17 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 03-09-2019, 12:45 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 26-09-2019, 11:28 AM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 20-12-2019, 04:19 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by LewB - 20-12-2019, 05:21 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 21-12-2019, 02:52 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by smartie - 23-12-2019, 12:24 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 31-12-2019, 11:04 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 16-01-2020, 02:07 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by StrengthToStop - 20-05-2020, 02:33 PM

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