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Wanting it all to end
#1
First time on the forum, online slots has ruined my life I've been gambling for years, managed to stop for six years after telling family and attending ga meetings for a year, I got myself back on track then two years ago I found myself signing up for online games and slots some thing I've never used before probably a tv advert that got me going I'm not too sure it's all a bit of a blurr now, need less to say i found myself deep in debt to banks credit cards oay day loans and so on also I  have emptied my nans bank account how can I tell my mum there is no money left in her mums account she is not aware of my deceit nor is my wife how can I tell my wife I've been gambling again it ruined us the first time she found out, I don't want to lose my family but I can't seem to find a way to tell them, I'm constantly thinking suicide is the best way out.... Help
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#2
Hi Len36,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing. I know it feels overwhelming right now, I remember feeling the same way. I was suicidal and it's not nice, but it's not the way. We cause pain through addiction, but we would cause more pain through suicide. You've been to GA before and you stopped gambling. I did that too, but stopped going to GA and went back to gambling and got worse. Please get professional help for the suicidal thoughts, I was on medication for just over a year and it really helped me lift my mood from the floor. Get back to GA and start working on recovery, you will be able to deal with the fallout of your actions, yes it will be tough, but it's also possible. I keep going to GA every week and this time round I've not gone back to gambling, so it really does work if you work at it.

Wishing you well, please keep us posted and don't be afraid to reach out to the Samaritons for help about your thoughts.

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#3
Hi Len,
Identifying you have a problem is your first step....seeking help and support your second. Identify where your nearest and next GA meeting is and attend...you will find support and fellowship that will be invaluable. The deceit and "double life" that gambling induces is thoroughly consistent with most problem gamblers, only by being honest with your family can your recovery begin....I know the thought of that is scary, but the truth sets you free and will restore integrity even if it loses trust.
I wish you well in your recovery.
Micky
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#4
Hi Len

The other two posters have said it all pretty much...just to add you arn't alone in this and if and when you do go back to GA, make sure you take the 12 step program on board this time....Get a sponsor and work the program diligently.

Keep in touch

Smartie xx
Meetings help, but meetings are only a small part to how GA works....

GA is a 12 step organisation that offers the program that keeps me in recovery...

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