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Lost it all again. Help.
So last night, I couldn’t sleep. Family problems, financial problems. First thing that came to mind was gambling. While my partner fell asleep on the sofa and our little one was soundo in her room. It was so easy just to pick up my phone and have a go on the slots, no one there to judge. A small amount to bet turned into a higher then higher amount. The most I’ve ever put down. I was chasing the wins, those wins turned into colossal loses. I lost it all. 
My mind was on what if I win the jackpot can’t stop now, to I’ve lost what I put in got to make that back up. I will make that back up... I didn’t. 
I spent an hour crying my eyes out over why did I do that again. To one more try just one more. I’ve left us so tight for money we can now just about afford the bills and essentials for the month. The date nights planned will have to be cancelled, my MMA training cancelled all because I can’t seem to control myself. The idea of winning is over taking my rationality. My partner thinks we are short on cash because a bill was higher than expected, I can’t admit I’m spending our money on gambling then losing it all. I feel like I’m stealing from him, and my daughter even though I earn the money as he stays at home with the baby, that’s the money we need to live on and I’m just using it for my own selfish reasons.  
As I type this the app is open, everything is telling me not to yet, another bet is lost. I’m lost.
I couldn’t sleep last night, family problems, financial problems all on my mind. My partner was asleep on the sofa, daughter asleep in her room, it was so easy to open the phone app, and there they were the slots. Small bets turned into bigger ones. Till I gambled the most I have ever done. 
I was chasing the wins, till they turned into losses, I had to make up what I lost right... I can do that! I couldn’t I lost it all. Now I have to cancel plans, date nights, MMA training, the lot because we only have enough left to cover the bills, and essentials. I feel like I’m stealing from my family, I’m not right. I worked for it, my partner stays home with the baby while I work. The money is in my account so easy to access. Yet I know what I’m doing is wrong so why do I  rationalise it. 
I’m 22 years old, I should be spending my money on that dress I want, not gambling it all away. Yet I can’t stop. I want to but I can’t. 
What if I won big, my life would change so much! You have to lose to win right! 
My mind keeps telling me just a little won’t hurt, I enjoy the chase, the what if. Till I loose it all, then it’s I have to win it back till I keep loosing more and more. I’m digging my own financial grave. 
I can see myself spending so much that we can’t afford the rent, the bills. But what if I win. Win big. Is it worth it....

I have a problem, and I have no idea how to stop it, how to change this what if mindset before it’s too late.

Welcome to the Gamblers Anonymous forum.

Great share, there's so much In there I can relate with my own gambling. I myself was always chasing that one big win that would sort all my problems out and get me back in front, but the sad reality for myself was no matter how much I won, I could not keep my urge to gamble at bay.

After 16 years of being in action as a compulsive gambler, I decide enough was enough and decided to go to my local GA meeting and try to get some help with this addiction that was destroying my life and others around me.

In the GA meeting I found experience, strength and hope from my fellow GA members, I had a platform to talk about my resentments, and learn from other people's experiences on how to face head on one of the most baffling, insidious, compulsive addictions.

The road to recovery has taken me plenty of diligent effort, honesty and open-mindedness, I have still got a long way to go, but getting there one day at a time. I found reading all the literature available on this website in the early days in-between meetings a great help, it gave me a new-found focus and drive, and kept me busy.

A few things helped myself as a lot of my gambling was online, I used blockers for my phone and computer, I gave financial control to my partner, that took away the ammunition to gamble for myself.

It took me a good 4 or 5 meeting to get in it, I was timid and tongue-tied, I was never sure what to say, but I persevered with it and so glad I did. Getting help with GA has been a game changer for me, I was in a situation I honestly fought I would never get out, but there is now light at the end of the tunnel.

I wish you all the best on your journey and hope you find your way to a GA meeting ASAP.

In Unity
My name is Martin, I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was 29.9.2017. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
I'm sorry to hear your story. I have been in your situation. It's extremely sad but there is hope.
There are a few quick fixes like talking honestly to your partner, getting yourself barred from the various gambling sites, blocking your access to your money by giving it over to your partner and being accountable for your time but the biggest one is to find a GA meeting near you so that you can understand that you are not alone in this. If you have had enough and have a desire to stop gambling I can tell you through experience that meetings work. Try one and see if it can change your life.
Hi, welcome.

It's a story that I also know well. I've been there.

The GA program will help you, and you sound like you know you need that help.

Gambling will bring only more misery, when we cross the line between being a social gambler, and a compulsive one, there is literally no amount big enough for us to win because any win will be given back.

Hope and the foundation for a better life, starts with a GA meeting. The people there know what you are going through, they will be able to help you, and they will be able to give you the strength to stop. You will need their help, it isn't easy....but it is worthwhile, I hope I never forget and never return to my old way of life. I have a positive future now.

I owe GA my life. They save all that want their help.

Good luck, please go to a meeting and begin to unburden yourself of your gambling issues.
Hi there. Sorry sad to hear your story.

You need to speak to someone though and get help.

The more you isolate yourself, the easiest is to get more into the gambling companies’ trap and carry on loosing.

So your troubles won’t be getting any better, but worse.

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