Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
My emotional triggers and my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations
#1
Hi

My emotional triggers were not excuses I turned to unhealthy habits.

My emotional triggers indicated that I was emotionally vulnerable that my hurt inner child was not healed.

My emotional triggers were my pains not healed, were my fears not faced. 

My emotional triggers were my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations. By me having unreasonable expectations of people life and situations I was effect causing myself pains time and time again. 

My emotional triggers were my feelings of loneliness due to my fears of emotional intimacy. 

My emotional triggers were my feelings of being bored. 

I can be honest today with out being cruel or adversely affecting other people. I can embrace change towards healthy habits today. 

My unhealthy reactions to people life and situations indicated that my hurt inner child was not healed. 

My unhealthy reactions were in anger, resentments, impatience intolerance, jealous, envy, rage, lack of trust, guilt shame regret remorse penance person pleasing vengeance mistrust self worth low self esteem indicate that I am not fully healthy and not at serenity with myself today. 

In time I would open up in the recovery program, I would open up to counseling talking about every conscious memory of my past. 

The recovery program helped me set up boundaries for myself.

Just for today I will not be unhealthy, that changes to just for today I will be healthy. 

How can I get stimulated in to more healthy habits today.

Today do I things reluctantly, resentfully, out of penance, out of guilt or shame, do I person please, am I trying to buy friends today, if I do things for unhealthy reasons I get no satisfaction from doing them, I am cheating myself.

There was a person who said at a meeting he was glad that he was a compulsive gambler, my first reaction to his comments he was nuts, then he explained that by being a compulsive gambler he found out how unhealthy he was.

I seriously did not know how unhealthy I use to be, I honestly thought that gambling controlled my life.

By working my non religious recovery I am healthier than I was when I was about seven years of age.

Things that use to make me very angry now make me laugh.

The addictions and obsessions were a form of self abuse and self denial.

Did I enjoy burying and suppressing my pains feelings and my emotions.

Did I enjoy being a dysfunctional person.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.
Reply
#2
(17-07-2019, 11:25 PM)Fruitwannalosethecake Wrote: I tired to rate this 5 * but made a mistake

For me rating is not what it important, it is how ever much we can relate to each other and to make healthier choices in our life today.

I do hope my sharing will help you have the same clarity I have in my life today.

Love and best wishes.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham
Reply
#3
(17-07-2019, 11:25 PM)Fruitwannalosethecake Wrote: I tired to rate this 5 * but made a mistake

Hi

Thank you for your comments,

The ratings of text is not what is important.

It is our growth and healing is what is important.

Thank you for your honesty.

Regards  

Dave L
Reply
#4
Hi

The recovery program would help me understand when I am emotionally vulnerable and how to over come my emotional triggers.

Some people in the recovery program people will say that our emotional triggers are just excuses and will not acknowledge any emotionally vulnerability.

Sadly by ignoring my emotionally vulnerability I could not heal my hurt inner child.

By talking about my past I am acknowledging it and that I am today I am more of a survivor today.

I can not change the past yet I can certainly learn from it.

Each lie I tell myself hinders my healing today.

Each lie I tell myself means my fears are not reducing today.

I use to feel so lonely and vulnerable even when I was with other people.

Today even when I am alone I do no feel vulnerable.

Being in the recovery program I have learned to work with other people like a team, our healthy interactions helps me in so many ways.

As I humble myself to being an equal to all people I raise myself from living in the pits of despair and misery.

In my addictions and obsessions I felt so disconnected from people and society.

Expressing my gratitude and appreciation helps me demonstrate my healthy values and interactions today.

Expressing my gratitude and appreciation indicates how much I care today.

I am not willing to give up faith and hope in myself today no matter what happens.

As I got more in to my recovery my steel was going to be tested even more as I progress.

I am learning from my past not living in it.

How do I know I have forgiven myself today.

Because I am able to laugh at myself today.

Nothing is gained by us beating our self up today.

The recovery program would help me become more productive, help me become more at peace with myself, help me have a healthier relationships with myself and other people.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.
Reply
#5
Hi

The addictions and obsessions only indicated how emotionally vulnerable I was.

I was far from weak, I had suffered many forms of abuse and due to the pains of my past my fears grew in me.

The risk taking caused an adrenaline rush in me which sadly I got in to thinking was fun and happiness.

Also the risk taking also indicated that I did not value myself hence I could not value other people.

I am a non religious person, even though I had a conscience I could not stop myself from hurting myself and other people.

Thinking that a really big win would undo the pains I did to myself and the pains I did to other people.

Anger was a very unhealthy reaction to my pains I could not heal.

Anger was a very unhealthy reaction to my fears I could not face.

Anger was a very unhealthy reaction to my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.

By me having unreasonable expectations of people life and situations I was effect hurting myself and causing myself more pains.

I understand that nothing I can do or say will change other people to become heathy or take the recovery program seriously.

No matter time since my last bet the most important day is today.

My direction and my focus in being and becoming healthier I am more focused on my needs my wants and my goals.

I use to hear certain people say that they did not have enough hours in the day, I use to think what a load of crap.

At this time in my life I think I do not have enough hours in the day.

I am now 74 years of age, I push my body in to getting things doe that I am able to do.

If I do not try I am cheating myself.

Every thing I do has a reward one way or another.

Every day I feel I have a full healthy life, I have clarity on my needs my wants and my goals.

On walking in to recovery my fears were 10 out of 10.

Now my fears are less than 2 out of 10

I use to fear failure, I use to fear the opposite sex, I use to fear paying the taxes, I use to fear the dentist, I use to fear letting people know when I was vulnerable, I use to fear being honest, I use to fear emotional intimacy, I use to fear letting go of control issues, I use to fear talking about my fantasies, I use to fear talking about my dreams, I use to fear losing my job, I use to fear Mondays going back to work, I use to fear coming back from holidays, I use to fear trusting myself and other people.

For me today I do not gamble, today I exchange an unhealthy habit in to healthy habits.

It takes time for people to see or understand how recovery works, some people have gone to meeting for months with out talking and that is a good thing, because one day a time comes where people talk things out.

I have now been married for over fifty years and I am not sure why my wife Shirley stayed with me.

I know that in my recovery as I became healthier my control issues reduced, and as I got healthier my wife had no reason to fear me any more.

Being in the recovery program I learned to love myself, and over time I learned to love other people.

Being in the recovery program I learned to respect myself, and over time I learned to respect other people.

Being in the recovery program I learned to be more patient and tolerant with myself, and over time I learned to more patient and tolerant with other people.

Being impatient and intolerant with myself only indicated how hard and cruel I was on myself.

Please take your recovery very seriously, once you give up your unhealthy habits you will have so much more value in your self your life and others.

Each time we go back to our addiction helps us understand what our last emotional trigger was.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham
Reply
#6
Hi

The recovery program I am non religious helped me get honest with myself.

That every time I gambled I made thing much worse and caused myself more pains than before.

I was a very unhealthy emotionally vulnerable person.

Yet I was not a weak person, I had suffered so many forms of abuse yet in time I would heal and become more whole in myself.

Money was not my problem, Gambling was not my problem, in time I got wise with myself.

Money was not going to heal me, Gambling was my way of escaping my feelings and my emotions.,

Being in the recovery helped me help myself.

Being in the recovery helped me get honest with myself.

Being in the recovery helped me understand how much more I could achieve in my life today.

A healthy sponsor would nurture and encourage me to exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.

A healthy sponsor would help me make healthier choices.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham
Reply
#7
I am still in my healing part of my life, living with out my fears sets me free, intimacy is part of the healing process, I use to react in such unhealthy ways, my anger showed my pans were not healed, only by facing each fear could I reduce them, by me having such high unreasonable expectations I was causing myself pains. By me having such high unreasonable expectations I got angry far to quickly hurting myself time and time again. Was I a victim, yes for sure, did I want to remain being the victim, I did not think I had a choice. To stop being the victim I needed to speak up for myself, all the time I reacted like a victim I was going to remain the victim. A time comes when you want to heal from the past. To learn from the past not live in it. Being over sensitive was not being healthy. Procrastinating was unhealthy for me and my family. Fearless is being healthy, self sufficient is being healthy, interacting is healthy, reacting is being unhealthy, only when I love myself could I love other people, only when I respect myself could I respect other people, how much more do I want to heal my hurt inner child. I understand that my fears restricted me from living a full healthy life. I understand that my fears restricted me from having healthy intimate relationships. That my fears restricted me from having a healthy healing of my hurt inner child. How much more do I want to invest my time and my energy in finding the healthiest life today. To no longer be the unhealthy loner. How much do I value my well being today. Is today going to be the best day ever in my life.
Reply
#8
Hi
I am Dave I am a compulsive gambler, and I am a non-religious person.
The recovery program for me means a healing program.
I thought at the beginning of my recovery that if I was able to stop gambling, I would be happy, that was not true.
I thought at the beginning of my recovery that if I paid off all of my debts, I would be happy, that was not true.
The addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms that I was emotionally vulnerable.
That when I could not cope emotionally, I would try and escape in different ways.
The money was just the fuel for my addictions and obsessions.
From day one walking into the recovery program the person I feared facing the most was myself.
How long would it take me to open up and talk about myself.
How long would it take me to give up talking about my addictions and money.
How long would it take me to give an honest therapy about my feelings and emotions.
How long would it take me to learn to articulate and understand my emotional triggers.
Today I understand my emotional triggers are where my pains not healed, my fears not faced, and my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations, my feelings of loneliness and boredom.
Why did I last gamble, what was my last emotional trigger and how can I learn from it?
By me facing my last emotional trigger I would learn how to process my feelings in a much healthier way.
My anger was due to be my pains not healed, my fears not faced, and my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
For me I could be outward angry, and I could also be suppressive aggressive.
Being in recovery I would have an understanding my unhealthy reactions caused me many pains.
Being in recovery I would understand that my healthy conscience was based up on healthy spiritual values.
I started to understand that the pains in my life traumatized me in so many ways, and those pains caused fears in me that I did not understand.
I got to understand that I was emotionally vulnerable long before my addictions and obsessions.
I also got to understand that in me was a very hurt inner child who lived in fear all of the time.
To protect myself I made very large walls of fear, those very large walls of fear protected that hurt inner child.
Sadly, those very large walls of fear protected that hurt inner child, also stopped that inner child getting out and having healthy intimacy.
The pains in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand.
Being in recovery you are more self-aware of yourself and now more questions than answers.
Then what happens is very healthy, after meetings you have more questions than answers, then people talk freely and that is when time flies by, also that is the moment you can get that light bulb moments.
Once in therapy the fears reduce and your trust grows, trust also grows in other people.
This is when the word recovery comes true, the pains getting healed, the fears reduce, and you open up more to emotional intimacy.
And what we do did not know or understand is that emotional intimacy is also part of the healing process.
That by living in fear we are cheating our self of our own healing process with healthy likeminded people who are healthy nurturing and encouraging.
The you start to understand that you can only love other people when you are able to love yourself.
To understand that you can only respect other people when you are able to respect yourself.
To understand that you can only be honest with other people when you are able to be honest with yourself.
Also combined in all of this is committing yourself to writing down your needs, to also writing down your wants, to writing down your goals.
Another thing comes to light is that due to pains and trauma in my childhood adversely affected my ability to absorb learn understand the education system.
At 15 years of age, I left school with no educational qualifications what so ever.
Also due to pains and trauma in my childhood my inner child did not grow up emotionally.
So that my physical age and my emotional did not match up at all.
How long would it take to start to admit to myself I was not only unhealthy but was also very emotionally vulnerable, I would also think that being emotionally vulnerable did not mean I was a weak person, not the same thing, also I know that I was then a survivor, yet was also a victim who could not speak up for himself or set up healthy boundaries set from a place of peace.
So, I was committed to myself about my recovery and a healthy healing process.
To exchange unhealthy reactions to healthy interactions.
To exchange unhealthy habits into healthy habits.
How long to heal the hurt inner child?
To understand that money would not heal the hurt inner child.
That living in fear disabled me in so many ways.
Just for today only I will not gamble.
Just for today only, is my slow steady baby steps.
Love and peace to everyone
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham UK
Reply
#9
Hi

I   did not have a clue how unhealthy I was walking in to the recovery program.

I could not help myself trying to escape my feelings and emotions, I did not understand that I was living  on the edge of fear every day of my life.

I was always filled with so many fears, I Lacked confidence in myself, I could not trust myself with money.

How could I convince myself that gambling was not fun but a way of self-abusing myself and others.

I felt that I could not live my life without lying, I feared be honest I thought lying was less painful than being honest.

I feared being myself, I feared abandonment which stemmed from my child hood, I feared being committed.

Reading the same text time and time did not help me, it was only when I saw and felt other people in myself that I wanted to change the outcome of my life.


My wife wanted me to be honest, I use to think that if she knew I gambled she would leave me, my insecurity became her insecurity, my pain became her pains, how long would it take to become aware of how much destruction I was causing.
Just for today only I will not gamble, nice steady baby steps, taking only one day at seemed so much simpler.

To not worry about things I could not change, living in so many fears I would go in to panic mode so easily.

Clean days are not lost, you have lived them.

How do you heal the hurt inner child, reduce the fears, stop being angry, reduce your fears and live a healthier life one day at a time.

Today I have value, today I see a future where I am no longer the loner, I no longer want to lie and live in any kind of fear.

I am a non-religious person and if I can find a healthy life and heal any one can, how much do I value myself today how much time and energy do I put in to my writing, how healthier do I want to become today.

The gambling and obsessions were the symptoms that I was emotionally vulnerable, in time I would get more honest with myself, and then with others.

The therapies opened up my mind and my vulnerable self to want and need to get healthy.

The recovery program is very much like mountain climbers learning the safest way through the tests of our life. 

Only once my fears were reduced would I be able to live a healthy life.

Every pain in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand, in time facing those fears head on reduces them. Only when I ask myself what is the very worst that can happen and can I accept the very worst that can happen, then my fears reduce.

I am more connected today, I understand my wants and my needs today and I set healthy goals.

There is no doubt in my mind that healing takes time.

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK 

Reply
#10
Hi

I am a non-religious person who learned to help myself and no longer beat myself up anymore.

I walked in to the recovery program for some one else, not for myself.

In time I would understand that the gambling addiction was just the symptoms that I was emotionally vulnerable, the emotional triggers indicated that I was vulnerable and reacted in some very unhealthy ways. I feared being honest to myself, I feared being honest to the meetings, I feared living my life with out gambling.

The addictions and obsessions only indicated how traumatized I was from my child hood.

I am not only dedicated to not gambling, I am dedicated to becoming the healthiest person I can be each day.

It was funny that as up opened up more and more my fears reduced and my trust grew.

In being in the recovery program for so long I understand how much pain and emotional trauma was buried and suppressed in me walking in to the recovery program from day one.

No one made me gamble, I no one made me choice that myself, no one made me stay with recovery that was my choice.

The gambling establishments never made me do any thing I did not want to do.

The gambling establishments never lied to me I lied to myself.

In time I would understand that the gambling addiction was just the symptoms that I was emotionally vulnerable, the emotional triggers indicated that I was vulnerable and reacted in some very unhealthy ways.



Once I got it I started to understand that the recovery program was going to help me heal my pains.

The recovery program was going to help me exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.

do not have a need to escape in my old fears, each fear I had has been faced and dealt with.

The pains of my past caused fears in me that I did not understand.

The recovery program helped me heal, face my fears, helped me open up and ask for emotional help, helped me expose more and more of myself.

The recovery program helped me heal the guilt and shame I use to carry

The recovery program helped me become more and more self sufficient, helped me become more mature, helped my inner child come out and play.

In over fifty years I have seen and understood that my recovery is far more than abstaining from unhealthy habits.

It is about being a more loving person giving of myself unconditionally, having no expectations what so ever.

By reducing my fears I am able to live a free open life today.

My emotional triggers were pains I could not heal.



My emotional triggers fears I could not face or reduce.

My emotional triggers my unreasonable expectations I could not reduce,

My emotional triggers were loneliness due to my fears of intimacy.

My emotional triggers were boredom due the fact I felt I did not feel worthwhile or productive in my life.



Being aware of when I was emotional vulnerable and understood my emotional triggers, I would reduce my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations I had no control over.

It was difficult in giving up saying I have to, saying I have to indicated my obsessive behaviors which were not healthy.

It took time working on myself to be nurturing and encouraging to myself, then in time I was able to be nurturing and encouraging to all other people.


For me I learn from example people demonstrating spiritual values.

Like mountain climbers we learn from example. The safety rope is our honest sincere connection to each other.

The safest path in recovery is being connected to healthy people who share emotional intimacy to every one.

Being a loner indicated the hurt child who feared being hurt again.

How healthy is any one or any recovery program, it is about healthy healing change from within.

Our success is based up on example and how much healthier people become.

The text only helps so far, true recovery comes from within us all.

Love and peace to everyone

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham UK
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)