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Why i gambled to begin with.
#1
Hi all,  i know i gambled to begin with because i was bored with life. I found something that excited me.  It was enticing,  elusive,  electric and easy to be hooked by.  It took me about six weeks to become addicted to gambling,  after losing my first bet.  I didn't gamble for six weeks after that initial big bet.   Looking back i am surprised it didn't take a grip on me much quicker.  

After the second losing bet and only about the third bet of my whole life,  then i became addicted. My first bet was on a greyhound or a horse.  It lost. I didnt gamble again for a further six years.  Now that is incredible to me.  But that's how it was.  I was a student in 1996 and i thought losing my first bet was a waste.   How much smarter i was back then?!  Astute even.  Then i got married in 2001 and started gambling in February 2002.  I started small and it just snowballed.

When i gamble i delude my self into believing i am smart. Perhaps i am to a certain degree. Looking back now i wish i had never started.  Eighteen years later and i am in some small manageable debt,   but i feel more depressed than ever. 

The truth is i now have children and i need to think about providing for them.  I have no choice but to quit now.  It is going to be a few months before i get out of this debt.  I have to try though.  I have been addicted to gambling on football predominantly but now i recognise footballers are multi millionaires and they don't care about gamblers.  

I have attended hundreds of gamblers anonymous meetings but i feel the time is not right to attend.  I will go again in my own time. 

My name is Toby and I am a compulsive gambler.  Thanks for reading.
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