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The recovery program would help me heal and become healthier
#1
Hi 

Being in the recovery program would help me understand that I was not a bad person, that I was not an evil person.

I was just a very emotionally vulnerable person.

I use to think that showing my feelings and my emotions was an indicator that I was a weak person.

For me when I walked in to the recovery program I was just a very emotionally vulnerable person.

Before understanding my emotional triggers I use to run in fear and escape people life and situation I could not cope with.

I am a non religious person yet being in the recovery program I understand that any person can get healthy if they truly want to.

The gambling establishments did not make me do any thing I did not want to.

The gambling establishments did not make me lie.

The gambling establishments did not make me steal.

Being in the recovery program would help me understand that I could get healthy if I wanted to.

The recovery program would not stop me gambling that would be my own choice.

By me paying back cash to people would not heal people or make them trust me again.

Having money was not going to make me feel successful.

Only by my own healthy actions and my healthy words would make me feel successful.

It all starts with just for today I will not gamble.

For me gambling is unhealthy and self destructive, only when I made a conscious decision to abstain from one unhealthy habit could I abstain 
from other unhealthy habits. 

The recovery program for me is a healing process, to stop self abusing myself, to stop self abusing other people.

Once I abstained from unhealthy habits I was able to replace those unhealthy habits I was able to take up healthy habits. 

I use to be angry most of the time, I use to be impatient and intolerant most of the time, I use to be blame and justify being unhealthy.

The rage in me demonstrated that the angry hurt child in me was not healed, I was not fully complete in myself.

I am often asked if I have not gambled in such along time why attend meetings today,  by me attend meetings I get to see myself in other people.

Over time my fears were faced reduced and were replaced with trust.

Over time being kinder to myself I am able to be kinder to other people.

Once I am able to have empathy for myself and my healing I am able to have empathy other people.

Once I am able to love myself and my healing I am able to love other people.

Only once I am able to be honest with myself and my healing I am able to to be honest with other people.

My emotional age and my physical age would get closer to each other.

I would learn to celebrate in healthy ways.

Giving of myself would become unconditional.

I moved from using bad good right wrong to what is healthy and what is unhealthy. 

Before the recovery I was a very sick unhealthy vulnerable person.

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.
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