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No matter how bad things were in my life, by me gambling made things much worse.
#1
Hi

The recovery program helped me understand that by me gambling simply made things in life life much worse.
The healthy people in the recovery program helped me see myself in them.
My addictions and obsessions were a from of escape in my fears of people life and situations I could not cope with.
Sadly I use to think that by gambling would improve my life, that was proven to be false so many times in my life.
I am a non religious person and if I can find a healthy life any one can.
I have been the victim of emotional abuse, I have been the victim of sexual abuse, I have been the victim of physical abuse, I have been the victim of abandonment issues, I have been the victim of rejection, I have been the victim of not being protected.
Even knowing how painful it was being the victim I have in time caused other people to suffer from my unhealthy actions and my unhealthy words.
When I walked in to the recovery program I did not know how traumatized I was.
I did not know how much fears restricted my life. 
I did not know how much fear of rejection I had, I did not know how much fear of emotional intimacy I had.  
In time I would identify my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations.
Only once I abstained from hurting myself and others through my addictions could the healing process even start.
I do know today that abstaining from my addictions and obsessions on its own was not healthy, I needed to fill my time with healthy habits.
I needed to use the telephone list when I felt vulnerable.
I needed to write down my daily needs, I needed to write down my daily wants, I needed to write down my daily goals.
It was important t not idolise people, to see all people as an equal to myself.
When talking to other people in the recovery program to understand that sharing was a two way street.
How selfish can I become in my recovery today.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham
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