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Unlucky gambler.
#1
I’m not arrogant enough to believe that I could win gambling....it’s recognised that approximately 2% of gamblers show a profit, I never expected to be amongst them. I do recognise now that I’ve been an unlucky gambler, when I say this, I mean that anything that could go wrong did. I never used internet sites to bet, I didn’t frequent casinos, my gambling centred around sport. I believed that my knowledge of various sports allowed me to form an educated opinion at the outcome of events.... it has staggered me how regularly a last minute goal or even an awarded corner has cost me. I have lost count of the times I have bet in sports contests that are literally “a toss of a coin” and picked wrong. I began to record my bets after becoming paranoid at what I considered my “bad luck” ....sure enough there was evidence that I wasn’t paranoid....I recorded evidence of horses falling at final fences when in control of races (no examples of my horse being the beneficiary of a last fence fall). On no less than 4 occasions in the last month when betting in football matches a goal in the final 5 minutes has resulted in me losing, two occasions with virtually the last kick of the match. I cannot recall a late goal in my favour.
Having revisited my wagers, I realised that I cannot win, I am just very unlucky. My final bet was placed 15 days ago, it was a bet on the number of corners in a football match ....another 50/50 bet ...I selected under 12 corners ....a corner in the 94th minute made it 12 in the match and I was broken...
I accept that I just can’t win....I have become so accustomed to being the victim of bad luck that I expect a reversal of fortune....I laughed when the inevitable happened. The anger now replaced with hope of a future without gambling.
I know that many seasoned gamblers will smile wryly at this story, it may resonate with some. I’m glad that I documented my bets, that I was able to record them and highlight how predictably my hope was extinguished often cruelly late.
Tomorrow represents day 16 gamble free, I feel good and the peace of mind and calmness that abstinence brings is also welcome.
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#2
Today represents day 34 without gambling, it’s been a challenge but every time I think about gambling I refer to a blog that I’ve compiled, it contains photos of losing bets and reflects on feelings following losses. I know that this will prove more beneficial than posting here as it took 19 days to publish my post....the only reason I know that, is because I kept revisiting this forum daily, astonished at the lack of updates. This forum is not a tool for me to use for support.
Wishing everyone well.
Mick
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#3
Well the 2nd post took one minute to publish, so maybe give it a chance?

That being said a blog is a good idea to use as an additional tool. I can use as much help as i can get.

All the best
Smartie xx
Meetings help, but meetings are only a small part to how GA works....

GA is a 12 step organisation that offers the program that keeps me in recovery...

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#4
Yesterday represented 7 weeks without gambling so I guess today is day 50. I’m not sure when live meetings will be possible, however I have identified a couple in Hove that I will attend. I don’t want my first meeting to be a zoom meeting. I feel pretty confident in general, the test for me will be when I have spare cash at my disposal, at present I’m still working to repair financial damage, fortunately I am able, not only to work, but to command some overtime. I regularly update a blog, I cannot avoid watching sport, it’s my passion. Despite the inevitable damage it has done me for years I must confess I have missed having a wager. I realise that this feeling confirms that I need to work hard on my abstention and avoid complacency.
I will not gamble today.
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#5
Yeah I hear you micky re not wanting your first meeting to be a zoom one. Wish i could say there was no difference between physical meetings and zoom, but i feel there is a massive difference in what they can offer. However to be fair, i will say some love zoom meetings.

Given i've no idea how long it will be til physical meetings yet back especially with the max 6 in a meeting, maybe don't totally dismiss zoom.

I'll look out for your reply if you post one.

tc Smartie x
Meetings help, but meetings are only a small part to how GA works....

GA is a 12 step organisation that offers the program that keeps me in recovery...

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#6
Thanks Smartie.
I won yesterday. I won by not gambling.....today it is day 63 in my recovery (9 weeks) yesterday it was 2 months....the milestones all represent victories. It will take a while to attain financial stability, but convinced that, this time I can beat this addiction. For now I celebrate waking each day not thinking about how I can conceal my latest loss or consider how I can juggle my finances or what the money I lost yesterday could have been used for....I really haven’t missed any of those feelings. 
The start of the new football season ordinarily represents an opportunity to gamble for me, but that was the old me....someone else. I need to grow, to develop a mature relationship with money, to use my time wisely.
Until meetings are an option my blog keeps me focused, just reading about how I continually made poor decisions time and time again prevents complacency and keeps me grounded. Just for today, day 63, I won’t gamble.

In unity.
Micky
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#7
Hello Micky.

I can identify with your post. I felt that I was unlucky, that last minute difference always went against me, but in reality there were occasions when it didn't but because I never got to enjoy my win I tended to put those thoughts to the back of my mind.

It sounds like you are reaching a point where the initial pain of coming on here has subsided a little. Are you able to put any blocks in place, like the standard GA ones, time, place and money? Be accountable for your time to another. Don't go into the places where you gamble, and if online, may I suggest Gamstop as one of the best tools around for helping online gamblers. Finally money. You mentioned the challenge will come when you have spare cash at your disposal. Could you have someone control the access to it, just to help with that temptation?

All the best,
Chris.
How do I stop gambling?

Honesty.
Open-minded.
Willingness.


Chris.
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#8
Thanks for your post Chris. I have, fortunately, never gambled online or with credit, consequently it’s just the bookmakers I need to avoid. I haven’t had any urges to enter for most of my abstinence (day 70 today). Your advice in surrendering control of my finances is sound and one I will give serious consideration. Over the last ten weeks my wages have gone into the bank and quickly transferred to bills....I am now back on an even keel. Next payday will present another challenge and I will need to exercise restraint and common sense. In the past alcohol consumption has been a catalyst for irresponsible gambling for me, I will ensure that if I go to the pub, I will take just enough for a few beers and leave any extra cash and debit card at home. I realise that implementing tools to assist in my recovery makes sense.
Tomorrow I won’t gamble.

In unity
Micky
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#9
Good to hear from you Micky

Keep being honest with recovery and avoid complacency. Sounds simple i know, but it isn't always.

One day at a time...

jft Smartie xx
Meetings help, but meetings are only a small part to how GA works....

GA is a 12 step organisation that offers the program that keeps me in recovery...

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#10
(23-09-2020, 01:36 PM)smartie Wrote: Good to hear from you Micky

Keep being honest with recovery and avoid complacency.  Sounds simple i know, but it isn't always.  

One day at a time...

jft Smartie xx

Like most gamblers honesty was never a forte, I have realised that being honest starts with myself, recognising that gambling and in particular chasing losses ended in the same sad story. Of course there were wins, but, gambling winnings are 10p a bucketload they merely represent the next stake. 
I do realise what you’re saying Smartie, I’ve been here before abstained for almost a year, complacency sent me back, I thought I could gamble responsibly. I now realise I can’t.
Day 73 jft....
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