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For me recovery is healing, I needed to abstain from unhealthy addictions obsessions
#1
Hi

Before my recovery and healing I did not understand that I was a very vulnerable unhealthy person.

I needed to abstain from unhealthy addictions and obsessions before I could live a healthier life.

Only once I was committed to my recovery and willing to admit to myself that I was unhealthy could I change

I am often asked if I have not gambled in a long time why do I go to recovery meetings.

I did not have a clue how to heal my pains.

I did not have a clue how to face my fears.

I did not have a clue how to reduce my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.

I did not have a clue how to improve my emotional intimacy with myself or other people.

I did not have a clue how to reduce my boredom and become more motivated in healthy ways.

Only once I moved on from telling and repeating my very sad war stories and started to give honest therapies would my recovery take effect.

For me the recovery program is about me healing from being unhealthy and learning to live my life with out me escaping to addictions or obsessions.

I have contentment in my life today.

I live for today.

I learn from my past but no longer live in my past.

I make plans for tomorrows but I do not want or need to live in fear of my tomorrows.

The more productive I am in my recovery I not only writing down my needs  I am writing down my wants  I am writing down my goals.

For me to procrastinate is not healthy, I needed to know and understand why I am procrastinating and do some thing about it. 

My pace in life is slower, my intimacy is improving more and more as fears fade in me.

As my fears reduce my trust grows.

In the recovery program no matter how much clean people have they are all equals to me today.

Each time I went back to my addictions I needed to understand what emotional trigger it was.

No matter when my last bet was it was critical to go to meetings.

Seriously my level of recovery was not possible with out other like minded people being there for me.

In those people I saw myself.

In those people I would understand more about myself.

I could only learn once I was willing to listen and learn from their experiences.

All the time I kept going to meetings I had any chance of abstaining.

All the time I kept going to meetings I had any chance of healing the hurt child with in me.

Before my recovery I had no value, today my value is in my spiritual values non religious.

Going from having no value in myself or value other people I found that my past was a lesson to find for me what is important today.

To invest in our self in my recovery was and is very precious.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham
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