trying to get up

[andy the loser again]

Thanks for your kind words.You are right about most of that.I am alone all the time,I hardly ever see anyone now,and the months of being alone finally wore me down last week to a mental gambling binge.I had managed to abstain for 10 months,but then just completely collapsed 1 day and lost everything I had worked so hard for,yet again.Now I am in a furious rage with myself for this and even worse is that it will take so,so long to pay all this back,what is the point?Ive been down this road many,many times and each time its worse than ever.My Father wouldnt give a shit if I were dead,and neither would my family as I never see them and weve all drifted apart over the years.Now I dont make the effort any more and gambling has stripped me of any energy I had left.I cant see any positives,because no matter how long I go without a bet,when I slip again,it undoes all the good ive done in the previous period and Im 10 times worse in the shit,because everything is still the same,Im alone,and still being driven insane,but a whole lot poorer and having to fight again to get out of yet another big black hole.Thanks for you comments though.Andy.