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gambling depression
Im Andy and Im a compulsive gambler.Its now 12 days since I had a gamble,but I just despair at the thought that it will get me again.I wake up every day in a bad mood,depressed and then when I get out into the world all I see is happy people out enjoying the summer sunshine,groups of people in pubs,outside enjoying,being happy and liking life,and all this happiness makes me want to escape into a deam world away from it all,becauseI know it will never happen in my life.I will never be happy,or content,I will always be alone,and each day I rise from my bed,I feel less like living,because I cant face another bleak Winter alone,and even worse another summer on my own,trying to fight the gambling disease,which will always own me.My so called life is a complete and utter shambles and where to even begin to put it right,I wouldnt know where to start.All I know is that 25 years of gambling have done this to me and now Im just waiting for the grim reaper to lay me to rest.Andy
hi andy,im really sorry mate,that you are feeling this way.its devastaing to here you are struggling not just with gambling but with life..i can assure you that you are not alone mate,please dont be to hard on are a worthy human being and being off gambling for twenty five days is something to be proud of..if you are feeling down again,just think what you have achevied by not gambling.why not try some voulantary work,or take up some exercise,by doing these sort of things you will gain some esteem and have goals you can life is worth living mate and who knows what good things the future holds for you..god speed and a happy and bet free future to you <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->
hi andy mate in my last post i said 25 days off instead of 12 days for you,sorry about that mate,and well done on 12 days good luck <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->
Hi Andy

True 12 days is a marvellous achievment, and something to be proud of.

What "ginger" says is true if you focus on something else in your life (ie exercise, voluntary work) it takes your mind off it..

I go to gym regularly now and although i still gamble i feel the gym gives me something to focus on. and takes my mind off of gambling.

When you look at people in pubs having fun, enjoying themselves having a laugh, just think you can definitely be like them and with them, just focus on that as a goal, and by getting there is by cutting out gambling.

Good luck mate
Andy, I feel the same way my friend and I'm a handsome 26 years old guy. I feel lonely; gambling gets rid of the problem for a bit but there's nothing worse then being skint and having no one. I hate the hot weather because I see everyone happy. I am jinxed and everyone says to me how come i haven't got a girlfriend - my personality and looks are good. You are not alone my friend; trust me I hate waking up. I think: the same old stuff again.
Thanks for your words and comments. I have taken them in and I already do a lot of excercise,every day in the gym,and other things,but never seem to be able to sit still. I'm always on edge every waking hour of the day and my head is so full of stress, I can feel my heart palputating.I have no regard for life and as it's worthless to me; I can take it or leave it. I'm sure this is all down to gambling. Life is already hard enough, but I gambled and made it 1000 times harder. I try to see light,but just cannot see any. Andy
Hi Andy

How are your GA meetings going?

Are you talking? Sharing your problems?

Let it all out. You will feel better for it. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->

Best wishes
Thanks for your words and support,Roy and everyone who has sent these messages.Yes I have been attending meetings for the past 3 weeks,now 16 days without a bet.Yesterday was the 1st day my head had cleared a bit since my rampant gambling binge on Sunday 23rd of May.I have had all time lows in life,many of them,but that Sunday was possibly the worst ever,because I was battered senseless and battered into submission by the stinking bookie.I just lost every single race,and did walk out completely skint,in massive debt,and also in a mental rage I could have smashed the place up,in fact I did think about just going wild and headbutting all the screens and breaking the place,that I paid for with all my losing thousands.
I dont talk much at the meetings because I have gone into a shell.My confidence disintegrated a long time ago,in many things,perhaps all down to gambling.If I think about the damage I did again it makes me angry,and furious that yet again,ive put myself in a hopeless position,financially up 'the' creek and going to have to work for months and months again,just to pay off the debt.That destroys me because why,why,why did I have to gamble.But just for today I wont gamble,Andy.
Hi Andy

BigDave is right. When you are ready to share your story, or participate in your GA meeting, you will know.

Some of our members took about 6 meetings before they felt like they could "trust" us enough to speak.
Take your time. This is a lifelong recovery program that you are now in.

Glad to hear that you think your head is clearing a bit. The anger you are feeling will hopefully ease in time. We all know how hard it is to leave well enough alone, but once you can accept that you cannot recover your losses, you will feel much better.

You said that it will take you months to pay off your debt. I understand your worry mate.
Remember though that there are members that will never be able to pay off their debts.
If I am lucky, I may be debt free by the time I am 70....18 years away...getting old. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->

Just do the best you can mate. If you are having trouble with any of the payments, remember to contact the creditors as early as possible as you may be able to come to some agreement that will suit you better.

Best wishes
hi andy mate,really sorry you are felling so low,its the gambling for sure why you are feeling it so bad,i guess youve heard of the time the place and the money,get rid off one of them and you cannotdo it,thats how i live by now.please try and not feel too bad about yoursel mate,remember its the addiction that is making you feel this the person are much more stronger and better,keep telling yourself that you are worthy of a better life.really pleased you are going to meetings that in itself takes guts and shows that you are a fighter,i wish you every happiness mate remember you desevre it,one day at a time <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->

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