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HOW DO I LEAVE
#1
I live with a partner who has always liked to gamble. His gambeling was never a problem for the family untill last year. He gambles large sums of money on a regular basis. My partner managed to hide his gambleing from me untill he could no longer get any credit, and was not paying back the debts that he had acumilated through gambeling.
We have been together for 22 years and have 3 children. My parnter has had other problems with alchol and anger, where I have stuck by him unconditionly. The gambeling is by far the worse that I have ever experienced. There has been several times where he has gambled all the money leaving us with no money for food or anything else. We have tried out, me holding the bank cards, which never works, has I have no choice but to hand them back when he asks, this prevents an argument.
I am a very supportive person, and a great listener, but I also know that you can not help someone, who will not help theirselve. My partner is not the type of guy to ask for help, and would never in a million years attend a GA meeting.
I refuse to suffer anxiety, which can only be caused by myself trying to controll my partners spending, and I do not think that I should have to worry about the finances all by myself. I have tried absolutly everthing from talking, leaving litriture and phone numbers everywhere, but get no response.
I am a full time housewife and are financially dependent on my partner, my youngest child is 20 months. I am so tired of the stress, some days I can not even eat or sleep.
I feel like I have done everything in my power that I can now, and only my partner can decide for hiself what he truly wants. He now tries to put the blame on me for the gambeling, so enough is enough. I want to leave which is quite difficult when we are both joint owners on the property that we live in. I feel desperate to leave but have no where to go. everyday that goes by I feel like I have less strenght to actually walk out the door. Is there such a place where I can recieve help and compassion, or do I have to carry on untill Im eventually evicted out of my home.
every day that goes by, leaves me feeling weaker and weaker. Does my life have to be this way ?
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#2
Hi STRESSEDOUT

I am a Compulsive Gambler. Gamble free for 16 months.

GA have a sister fellowship called GAMANON. This is attended by the family & friends of the gamblers. They know what you are going through as they have all experienced it before.
Try them, you do need the support & experience that they can offer you.

There are other organisations available to you as well. I will send you a private message re them.

I can't tell you what to do. That is something that you alone have to decide. Get some information from GAMANON & the other organisation I mentioned in my private message, so you at least can make an informed decision.

However, I would suggest that you ensure that your personal finances are okay.
Enquire at the bank as to your total mortgage debt. I say this because your partner may have increased the mortgage on the house without your knowledge. Better to find out all you can now.
Until you know exactly where you are financially, you are totally in your partners hands.
Do NOT trust him.

Best wishes
Roy
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