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i cant tell my family
Ok, I,m 44 reasonably intelligent. I adore my wife and kids so so much, but still I risk my relationship by gambling. I have big debts, personal loans that my family dont know about. But worst of all I am too much of a coward to tell my family that I have a problem.

I have read many stories on this site and I sympathise with so many of you, but i dont see my problem as an illness. Its entirely my fault its not down to an illness is it? I wish I could see it as an illness, then I could use it as an excuse.

I have considered suicide, but then realise the implications this has for my family, and because I love them so much I cant do it. I honestly dont give a dam about myself. I cant hurt my wife and kids and telling them of my problem would almost certainly ruin our relationship. If I were in my wifes position i would despise me anyway.

I have been using money from our joint account to feed my disguating habit, and then taking out loans to cover my tracks. Yes I lie, I cheat, but I do seriously love my family, are they better off without me?
hi rich,ive just read your story really sorry what you are going trough at the moment,i belive it is an illness what you and me and all gamblers have,you are not alone in what you have been doing,and if it gives you any comfort,i was in an even worse situation,i think you should try and tell your family and wife,once the truth is out lies gamblers we are all liers and cheats,once you stop you can become a better person.the addiction is you,you are not the addiction.please try and getting to a g a meeting you will get great advice and be with people who are the same,ps forget any thoughts aboubt suicide,people love you and its not the way,i should know,i wish you god speed and a bet free future,there is always help mate <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->

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