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For my daughter and wife
Hello my name is Steven, I am 42 years old and I am a compulsive gambler.
My story is so similar to others. Introduced to gambling at a very early age and thereafter a lifetime of dishonesty, pain, suffering for everyone who has come into contact with me.
For me hitting rock bottom was seven years ago when my wife became pregnant. We were massively in debt all through my gambling. Even though she was pregnant I kept gambling and all that I was concerned about was the next bet, where the money would come from who I could steal from to get money. The real sadness for me, what I live with everyday is that because of my illness and I don’t use it as an excuse, I manipulated and bullied my wife to have a termination. We got to the hospital but fortunately she showed more courage than I ever had and she decided that she could not do it. Although for me I didn’t realise her strength that day would change my life, it did and forever. Although my wife later left me I am now the very proud Dad of a beautiful daughter who inspires me everyday not to gamble.
I decided to share my story as I frequently visit this site and am heartbroken and brought to tears to read the stories of so many so young. It’s so hard not to sound patronising and appear to talk down to people. If I could change one thing it would be for all the young people on this site to have experienced the despair that not only I have but all those who I have hurt. Go to your local GA meetings you disserve better and all those you have hurt and will hurt disserve better. There is a long line of people who you have not yet met who you will lie to, cheat on, and steal from in so many ways.
For me I would like to pay tribute to my wife who will probably never know the depths of her courage and the influence she has had on my life and that of our daughter.
I would like to thank GA, the Forum but mostly my wife who although is no longer by my side the thought of hurting her again is an emotion I will never again experience.
My name is Steven and I am a compulsive gambler but I have not gambled today.
just for today steven i will not gamble and the rest will take care of it self.geoff a fellow compulsive gmbler just for today i have not gambled.
Yes Steven I also feel for the young people on here. I was a lot older than you when I finally got to a GA meeting, but it is 'NEVER TOO LATE'. You are very strong in your recovery Steven and have found out through the GA program that we can once again can live full and happy lives. If people continue to gamble in a destructive way they will finally lose, family, friends, and many other important things.
Steven, keep strong in your recovery and continue with the 12 th step and carry that message to other's who are still gambling and hopefully they too will receive what we have today.
Helen - a recovering GA member

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