03-03-2011, 01:00 AM
Chelsea,
Hey, I understand how and where you are right now. I was 26 when I came to the realisation that gambling was ruining my life and that is when I found GA.
To understand it completely is like this: willpower can never stop us from gambling as we are "compulsive gamblers" before we attend GA we dont have any understanding of this at all.
Before 26 I used to go weekly saying "why am I skint" "why do I have no food" my answer in my mind was "next week Ill be strong, then slip, just a little and skint again"
It was a weekly nightmare, i dont believe I ever really knew what a peacefull nights sleep was about.
GA changed all that, it tought me that I have a serious issue, one that could be kept at bay through living "day by day" and by following a different normal path.
I still had issues with stopping and still do now, I have had slips but I have always realised and gone back to the programme.
One of the immense things for me was the feeling "of not being alone" I used to think "oh its just me!!" I would go into a arcade or gambling establishment and look at everyone else who must have a problem but not me, such was the desease to my mind.
It convinced me gambling was not an issue.
I have spent over four years off gambling now with one minor slip to count for but in this time I have dfone things for myself I never had imagined in my "messy" life.
I have earned trust from people, I have bought things for myself, I have started to be positive and structured.
This is my first post since my slip to anyone, this happened at the end of January and I have been slightly shell shocked since. But its about understanding, waking up and saying "not today" and continueing that pattern.
Go to a meeting, its a difficult place for a mother and woman to go but there are many other women that suffer in silence and many that have changed there lives.
My advice to you right now is block everything on your PC, afterwards you will feel much much better and feel there it was a relief.
Then go to GA, listen, then speak.
That day will be the first day of the rest of your life, trust me.
My name is Barrie and I am a compulsive gambler, I cannot always be perfect, I am not normal all the time but today I didnt gamble.
Take Care.
Hey, I understand how and where you are right now. I was 26 when I came to the realisation that gambling was ruining my life and that is when I found GA.
To understand it completely is like this: willpower can never stop us from gambling as we are "compulsive gamblers" before we attend GA we dont have any understanding of this at all.
Before 26 I used to go weekly saying "why am I skint" "why do I have no food" my answer in my mind was "next week Ill be strong, then slip, just a little and skint again"
It was a weekly nightmare, i dont believe I ever really knew what a peacefull nights sleep was about.
GA changed all that, it tought me that I have a serious issue, one that could be kept at bay through living "day by day" and by following a different normal path.
I still had issues with stopping and still do now, I have had slips but I have always realised and gone back to the programme.
One of the immense things for me was the feeling "of not being alone" I used to think "oh its just me!!" I would go into a arcade or gambling establishment and look at everyone else who must have a problem but not me, such was the desease to my mind.
It convinced me gambling was not an issue.
I have spent over four years off gambling now with one minor slip to count for but in this time I have dfone things for myself I never had imagined in my "messy" life.
I have earned trust from people, I have bought things for myself, I have started to be positive and structured.
This is my first post since my slip to anyone, this happened at the end of January and I have been slightly shell shocked since. But its about understanding, waking up and saying "not today" and continueing that pattern.
Go to a meeting, its a difficult place for a mother and woman to go but there are many other women that suffer in silence and many that have changed there lives.
My advice to you right now is block everything on your PC, afterwards you will feel much much better and feel there it was a relief.
Then go to GA, listen, then speak.
That day will be the first day of the rest of your life, trust me.
My name is Barrie and I am a compulsive gambler, I cannot always be perfect, I am not normal all the time but today I didnt gamble.
Take Care.