22-03-2011, 01:43 AM
Hi this is a reply to Cayhill,
I note from you post you have taken it upon yourself to ready through this website to get an understanding of the desease and firstly I would say that is more couragious than walking out of the door.
Marriage is a sanctity and I always believe that however I am a compulsive gambler so I have a different perspective on your post that i would like to share.
From your post you have no mention of "I have confronted my husband about the issue and he WILL attend GA and I will control the finances".
See this is a pretty important factor.
I need you to understand how thisgs MUST be and also what will go through your husbands mine as ultimately it is him with this desease not you.
From your side step 1 and it is a huge step you must insist to your husband going to the nearest GA meeting, this will be his side to a better life. From your side you must take control of the finances.
I am 1000% sure as a compulsive gambler that all the things you think you know about what the situation is are actually untrue...be aware there maybe a lot more.
Once your husband has attended this meeting it does not say "hey he is cured!!" it will take constant meetings and constant diligence from yourself to ensure you have a better life.
I am not saying for you to be a monster when it comes to trust...just to accept and to gain his acceptance also that he has caused untold damage and the only way to repair this damage is slowly and by him accepting some terms.
I am a proud man, that means I dont like to just have "pocket money" but when it comes to being a compulsive gambler this is essential to a road to recovery.
I dont wish to digress other peoples situations but what I will say is this:
For four years I have lived my life very much off gambling, day by day, I felt my strength was very good, never going to gamble again and believe me when I say it did huge damage to me.
Three months ago I got into a situation where I started to gamble, a small step at first, just a few quid that i could afford, within one week that had spiralled into constantly thinking about gambling and it gripping me once more.
I was fortunate as I called a fellow GA member and his words promted me to stop!! here I am now again three months into my recovery but that very same member who I am in constant dialogue with (part of the fellowship!) had a slip and went hard at it again, fortunately my dialogue with him he has now stopped again.
I have seen many members come and go, many who have failed. This desease takes no prisoners at all.
I hope you and your husband help together to defeat this desease.
Best wishes
Barrie
I note from you post you have taken it upon yourself to ready through this website to get an understanding of the desease and firstly I would say that is more couragious than walking out of the door.
Marriage is a sanctity and I always believe that however I am a compulsive gambler so I have a different perspective on your post that i would like to share.
From your post you have no mention of "I have confronted my husband about the issue and he WILL attend GA and I will control the finances".
See this is a pretty important factor.
I need you to understand how thisgs MUST be and also what will go through your husbands mine as ultimately it is him with this desease not you.
From your side step 1 and it is a huge step you must insist to your husband going to the nearest GA meeting, this will be his side to a better life. From your side you must take control of the finances.
I am 1000% sure as a compulsive gambler that all the things you think you know about what the situation is are actually untrue...be aware there maybe a lot more.
Once your husband has attended this meeting it does not say "hey he is cured!!" it will take constant meetings and constant diligence from yourself to ensure you have a better life.
I am not saying for you to be a monster when it comes to trust...just to accept and to gain his acceptance also that he has caused untold damage and the only way to repair this damage is slowly and by him accepting some terms.
I am a proud man, that means I dont like to just have "pocket money" but when it comes to being a compulsive gambler this is essential to a road to recovery.
I dont wish to digress other peoples situations but what I will say is this:
For four years I have lived my life very much off gambling, day by day, I felt my strength was very good, never going to gamble again and believe me when I say it did huge damage to me.
Three months ago I got into a situation where I started to gamble, a small step at first, just a few quid that i could afford, within one week that had spiralled into constantly thinking about gambling and it gripping me once more.
I was fortunate as I called a fellow GA member and his words promted me to stop!! here I am now again three months into my recovery but that very same member who I am in constant dialogue with (part of the fellowship!) had a slip and went hard at it again, fortunately my dialogue with him he has now stopped again.
I have seen many members come and go, many who have failed. This desease takes no prisoners at all.
I hope you and your husband help together to defeat this desease.
Best wishes
Barrie