14-04-2011, 11:26 PM
hi,decided to try and tackle my 33year gambling habbit following a relapse in the last 7days which has cost me hundreds.wental6weeks without going in the bookies then, stupidly had a few bets on the grand national,which obviously lost then decided to chase my losses losing more money on a football match 2night.i feel physically sick and so annoyed with myself that 2morrow i am attending my first g a meeting.i just hope and pray i can recover from this evil demon which has been an integral part of my life for so long.my first bet was a successfull yankee at the age 14 whilst i was at home sick an off school.my dad and older brother encouraged my first bet which was set me on a life of misery where istole money off my family,friends,school,employers and robbing propertys ect.i lied ,cheated, decieved did some horrible things to people who cared and loved me.i feel so ashamed of myself i feel i should be dead and felt like ending it so many times but couldn.t cause i am such a despicable coward.i v almost led a double life realy yet some people still think am a decent bloke.i ended up being sent to a detention center in 1980 but still did not laern my lesson,immiedately going back in the bookies losing all my and other peoples money,indeed my dad used to call me ;the bookies best friend.ho i wish he would have protected me from the evils of gambling.i have lovely kids and a beautiful grandson and it would break my heart if they started gambling .i would do anything and i mean anything to protect them from the misery i and others suffered through my selfish gambling.i just hope and pray that its not to late to stop this evil which has pretty much destroyed my life and negstivly impacted on others.