23-04-2011, 04:29 AM
Marco,
I think the level of addiction is something to do with personal circumstances also. But personal circumstance are brought about by gambling in the first place...in my mind.
Take this as an idea: when I was with my ex fiancee I took her through tlots with gambling and finally when she did the worst thing possible to me it had a very very deep phsycological scar to me...
I would say I was fine but guilt, hurt coupled with escapism made my desease ten times worse, because escapism is what it truly is, to escape from reality into a virtual world.
Sometimes at the height of that money was just paper, it had zero worth to me, if I had none I was happy I could not gamble anymore, if I had lots I would waste it.
I was out of control and nothing including the GA meetings I would turn up occasionally for could help because in my mind nothing could help. I tried counselling, many things to try to find answers, when the answer was so close I just needed to look.
And so because of what I called "rock bottom" I went about something called re-programming.
Because I "needed" to hit rock bottom...no where to run, no money to find, no one to call and make an excuse with.
Now four years on I am much more structured and learning where the right places to spend money are....
I was at rock bottom four years ago, no money, no business, no freinds, now I have got stronger, the debts have gone, the guilt has gone, my concience is clear...but its a day by day fight to follow a path...
That was the answer Marcus.
The answer I needed was not to look so far ahead..not to wonder how things "could become" just to live for today and in that day dont gamble...
Believe me I was very very bad....beyond fixing, beyond help...today I am a different person.
I think the level of addiction is something to do with personal circumstances also. But personal circumstance are brought about by gambling in the first place...in my mind.
Take this as an idea: when I was with my ex fiancee I took her through tlots with gambling and finally when she did the worst thing possible to me it had a very very deep phsycological scar to me...
I would say I was fine but guilt, hurt coupled with escapism made my desease ten times worse, because escapism is what it truly is, to escape from reality into a virtual world.
Sometimes at the height of that money was just paper, it had zero worth to me, if I had none I was happy I could not gamble anymore, if I had lots I would waste it.
I was out of control and nothing including the GA meetings I would turn up occasionally for could help because in my mind nothing could help. I tried counselling, many things to try to find answers, when the answer was so close I just needed to look.
And so because of what I called "rock bottom" I went about something called re-programming.
Because I "needed" to hit rock bottom...no where to run, no money to find, no one to call and make an excuse with.
Now four years on I am much more structured and learning where the right places to spend money are....
I was at rock bottom four years ago, no money, no business, no freinds, now I have got stronger, the debts have gone, the guilt has gone, my concience is clear...but its a day by day fight to follow a path...
That was the answer Marcus.
The answer I needed was not to look so far ahead..not to wonder how things "could become" just to live for today and in that day dont gamble...
Believe me I was very very bad....beyond fixing, beyond help...today I am a different person.