02-05-2011, 03:36 PM
hi all thank you for your words of encouragement.i would like to say i have learned my lesson.
But the more i think about what i have done. the more i realise i had no intention of useing that money to pay my debts if this was a one off i could have put it behind me.but i have followed this patten of behavier for the last year.i did hand over control of my bank card to my wife but i neaver requested excluetion.
from the casino.so my bank details were were still on recard all i need was to type in my password.i did go nine days with out gambleing but that was because
i had no funds.so i quess what i trying to say is its easy to say i want to stop but i think deep down i didant i convinced my self that cashing in my pention was i goood idea.so why did i not pay my crediters as soon as the funds cleared. why did i go on line. the win i had was the excuse i needed.as i have stated in a previous post.i stopped gambleing for twenty five years.i dont even know why i started again may be because i was made redundant.and felt like i was on the scrap heap it wasant for the money i was never so well off in my life i owed nothing to nobody i had plenty of cash.deep down i know i cant win.i even posted i reply to a guy last week adviseing him against doing what i have just done.guys i am not looking for sympathy.but i am glad i have this outlet to try to understand why i am behaving this way. your posts really do help.thank you all.and if telling my sad tale helps somebody to stop gambleing and start living that will give me some hope all is not lost.
sorry if i am rambleing its hard for me to put my feeling in words.
But the more i think about what i have done. the more i realise i had no intention of useing that money to pay my debts if this was a one off i could have put it behind me.but i have followed this patten of behavier for the last year.i did hand over control of my bank card to my wife but i neaver requested excluetion.
from the casino.so my bank details were were still on recard all i need was to type in my password.i did go nine days with out gambleing but that was because
i had no funds.so i quess what i trying to say is its easy to say i want to stop but i think deep down i didant i convinced my self that cashing in my pention was i goood idea.so why did i not pay my crediters as soon as the funds cleared. why did i go on line. the win i had was the excuse i needed.as i have stated in a previous post.i stopped gambleing for twenty five years.i dont even know why i started again may be because i was made redundant.and felt like i was on the scrap heap it wasant for the money i was never so well off in my life i owed nothing to nobody i had plenty of cash.deep down i know i cant win.i even posted i reply to a guy last week adviseing him against doing what i have just done.guys i am not looking for sympathy.but i am glad i have this outlet to try to understand why i am behaving this way. your posts really do help.thank you all.and if telling my sad tale helps somebody to stop gambleing and start living that will give me some hope all is not lost.
sorry if i am rambleing its hard for me to put my feeling in words.