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In despair
Worried Wife..

I want you to get him to read this post whilst with you seeing as he believes most gamblers never change.

Firstly I used to be a waste of space gambler also. I didnt really want to give anything, I was selfish, arrogant, I was rightous, pretty much the biggest fool on the planet.

I like you stole...wahoo great admission that one, Im such a great guy, well it wasnt stealing just borrowing till I won then I would pay back..

Church who needs Church, Christian who needs Christian, Charity who needs Charity...People with problems, nah not me im really great, everyone likes me, what a MUG!!

I had a stepdaughter a fiancee, they both loved me but I crucified them with gambling...missed time, missed love but eh Im still a great guy...

Everything when I was gambling was next week, next week, Ill stop next week...because I knew next week I could continue...I would have more fuel to gamble and guess what..I would continue to be my selfish, idiotic, disorganised self.

Tyres for the car, next week, clean the car, next week, cut the grass, next week, go out to see firends, next week, gamble TODAY, I was the worlds greatest liar also...lost my wallet, going to do this...going to do plan...nothing.

That was until I had no one to blame, no one around me as I had lost it all, everything through one thing GAMBLING, it had made me cry (a grown man) it had made me contemplate suicide (many times) it had made me tired, weary, exhausted (many times).

I even realise when I had lost everything including everything I strived for, I was still the same old waste of space I had always been. But fortunately I remembered one thing and one thing that meant a lot of soul searching:

Do I really want to be this guy who steals of someone he says he loves, will never provide for his family or do I want as someone said I was not "to become a man"

See a man doesnt steal, a man respects others, a man takes care of those he loves and the only way for me to become a man was quite simply to give up gambling.

So I did and I did this because I didnt want to be that soldier anymore, i didnt want to treat my family like they all owed me something, tell my friends I was just unlucky and most importantly I came to a realisiation I had a complete addiction that could only be solved "one day at a time".

Weeks started to become months free from gambling, my attitude changed, I no longer had a huge chip on my shoulder, I didnt look back at what was and I started to LIVE.

If I want to go for a drink this weekend I will, if I want to put new tyres on the car I will, I might even clean it, but what I will not do is rest on my laurels and if I become nervous about FREE TIME I simply find something to do.

I believe I call this being re-programmed. Life may hit me with suprises soon, who knows what is around the corner but as long as today I dont gamble, as long as today I dont care about "will I win the Jackpot" then its a good day for me.

GA changed my life and should gambling crop up in conversation I do my best to move away from the conversation, should I encounter gamblers I dont make time to make friends and in that I see people clearer than before.

Most importantly I love where love should be, I grant my prayers that others get away or out of the hole life can be.

Most importantly I am not going back to THAT is past just like my gambling because just for today I admitted my desease and shared that desease.

I also found I got to know those I love a whole heap more.

Go to GA...give up control of may be boring...but its a a lot lot better than being the person I was.

My advice is its never to late to stop, if you want to.



Messages In This Thread
Re: In despair - by jamie - 11-05-2011, 11:15 AM
Re: In despair - by barrieexgambler - 11-05-2011, 11:30 AM
Re: In despair - by joe b - 11-05-2011, 07:53 PM
Re: In despair - by Guest - 12-05-2011, 05:04 AM
Re: In despair - by worried em - 12-05-2011, 09:59 AM

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