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hi - this is my story
Hi I'm new to this forum.

But certainly not new to gambling!!
I'm 44 and have been betting on football horses and dogs etc for many years but only as "a bit of fun " here and there and definitely not regular... until that is about 3 years ago.
Got into the dreaded roulette machines in my local bookies and at first kept stakes low and yet again treated them as a bit of fun and walked away if I lost a few quid. Then bit by bit I guess you would say I got hooked until I'm where I am now which to be honest is not a nice place.Wages gone the day I'm paid - loans taken out that I can't afford to pay back - selling possessions just to feed the habit. Constantly thinking about my next fix.

I still continued to bet in the bookies mainly on football and also got into online betting websites - Losing more and more money and even if I won,it would be gambled back again within a few hours/days. I would bet on sports I knew nothing about like American football and hockey and football teams I'd never even heard of!! It was too easy to gamble and too hard to stop.
For the last couple of years I have been in the bookies every single day squandering money I can't afford and then doing more in the evening online using credit/ debit cards. I also got into Payday loans with their high %.
Now this would be bad enough if I was single but I'm married and my wife only thought I gambled every now and then and of course I only told her when I won, not all the times I had lost (and we all know there were many more days like that).

Until March of this year.
I decided to tell her of my situation due to her questioning why I never seem to have any EXTRA money.
She learned of my debts (credit cards payday loans etc) and agreed to help me sort them out.

I closed and self excluded myself from all online sites and really thought I could get back on track with her help.I was so glad she was understanding. Everything was going to be alright!!

Forward to May...YES just 2 months later and guess what - I owe even on payday loans cause I didn't/couldn't stop going in the bookies to play on the roulette machines!! I'd let her down BIG TIME.
I told her last weekend about this and she cried and I cried and she said that she couldn't take much more and I had to get help or we were over.I agreed I needed help.
I'm going to attend my first GA meeting this week and I also haven't been in the bookies for 6 days.
Small steps I know but I have a long journey ahead.

I hate myself for what I have become - I hate the bookies for helping me become this person.
I want to sort out this hold that gambling has on me.
Thanks for reading my story.

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