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Hi im Jay CG last bet end may2011,

Hi, this is another version of the I AM ADDICTION words that can be fount on this site under the littrature tab, i read it for the 1st time last night at my meet (to the room) i was very moved by it and opened my eyes, i plead with anyone to read this version and the 1 on this site, and think about the words very carefully.For me it was another step in my recovery, as i could relate to the words in such a deep way.

I Hate meetings...I Hate higher powers...I Hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering.

Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease of addiction. I Am cunning, baffling, and powerful. That's Me. I have killed millions and I am pleased.

I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, haven't I? Wasn't I there when you were lonely?

When you wanted to die, didn't you call on me?I was there, I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I Love to make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. When you can't feel anything at all. This is true gratification. And all that I ask from you is long term suffering.

I've been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things, and i was the only one who would agree with you.

Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life.

People dont take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks, even diabetes, they take seriously. Fools. Without my help these things would not be possible.

I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace. More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12 step program. Your program, Your meeting, Your higher power. All of these things weaken me, and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly.

You don't see me but I am growing bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live I may only exist. But I am here... And until we meet again, If we meet again, I wish you death and suffering.

Quote:["When you only exist, I may live. When you live I may only exist."

Thankyou for reading

Thank You Jay for posting this . This is the BEST description of an addiction and describes the compulsive gambling illness so well . As you said it is very powerful but its no match against GA and this chat room .
Nott-- Thanks so much for this post!! I have read it somewhere-- but i don't know where I read it!! What a powerful message to all of us who are determined to allow this illness to be put to rest!! I admire you for who you are and for the support you have given me the past few weeks!
I am Sami, and I am a compulsive gambler.
Just for today I have a choice: Serenity or Despair! It's my choice--my consequences!

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