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new fool
hey all,

im a single mum of 2 and one on the way... ive found myself in a stupid situation, addicted to online gambling.
it started as im very bored and have nothing for me. i live in a really rural area,no where to go, i dont drive or work since begining of this year and basically im isolated.

i work hard as a mum 24/7 no breaks and on my own. so i found an online website and got chatting to peeps and had a play on bingo...7 months on and ive spent every spare penny that hasnt gone on bills to gamble. i struggle to find money for other things and if school want money from me i panic.

i managed to get financial help and got my account in credit to start again but i sat and gambled it away i was so shocked at what i had spent in 1 and a half weeks!!!! i completely shocked myself and now my account is dire than ever.

today i made the desicion to stop... i called up my bank and made it a bills only account money goes in bills go out but anything spare i cant touch and ive told the kids dad what ive been doing and hes offered to help me out if need things for school etc and to sell anything spare to reclaim some money back... just stuff i dont use nothing that will be missed.

Ive got a chance now at sorting it out.... but it doesnt cure my boredom. its easy for peeps to say to you, get out get a hobby. but now i have no cash im literally stuck on my own in this rural area with nothing around for miles or family and there isnt anything to do. i do 4 school runs a day so im not free to get anywhere if wanted to so all i do is homemake.

ive always loved playing games, i love computer games etc but once youve completed em all whats left. i havent let this gambling interfere with my kids and home im still a good mum doing everything i can, but when theyre all tucked up and im alone its dull. ive read every book i own, completed every game seen every dull soap, ive even exercised done knitting etc and nothing makes me happy.

The only thing that has done this is gambling, but now i havent the oppotunity to do this, i feel im going to drive myself insane for a while, a bit like when waiting to go into an important meeting or results back im going to be on edge wanting something that gives me that boost and there isnt going to be anything once the kids are in bed and its just me again.

anybody in the same boat??
I know exactly what you mean,i too am mum of two. I work like a trojan though to pay off the massive interest fees each month, then blow my limit again n again. like u the kids have what they ned but i used to be able to buy next clothes and now its the car boot. i keep wishin one big win will sort out my debts but even when i do win i dont stop pressin the button.
i'm new to this but i am in a similar situation although i work my partner basically works extra to fund my habit! there is so many mixed emotions but i know i can not do it anymore it may only be a 'little bit of money' but it certainly adds up! i am hoping to get married next year so we need to save any advice is much appreciated. why cant i see what a fool i am being! we also have the most gorgeous 17 month old baby boy and i never want him to know what i am / was like!
Hi Moneymug, guest and moonie06,

thank you for sharing your experiences on the forum, I was a single mum and used to go to bingo with every spare penny i could find. I worked in pubs and put all my tips etc in the fruit machines, then the internet arrived and a whole new world of gambling was open to me. I could gamble in private, no one would know, but I was wrong, 27 years of gambling brought me to an impass, stop or die......suicide crossed my mind on more than one occasion, my life was at rock botton, i thought the only way out is death. Then I found GA....and almost 10 months later, I have money in my account, I have a grandchild to look forward to in January and all my debts are going away, slowly, but getting there. Thanks to the one day at a time programme, and the wonderful people I have met in the meetings.
boredom is not good, isolation is worse, Moneymug, we have an online meeting in the chat on a thursday night at 9pm, its a meeting for all compulsive gamblers, new to us and old.
Guest and Moonie, i would suggest to you that attending GA meetings, live ones, is your next step, GA can make things better for anyone who wants it. I hope you all find this helpful and find a meeting near you, all is not lost.

There is hope.
Dear new fool,

Thankyou for submitting your story to the Gamblers Anonymous (GA) forum. I usually advise people to get themselves to a GA meeting. First of all to find where it is and then to get themselves down there so as to meet other people face to face. For me, when I eventually managed this I realised I was not the only "fool" out there. I may have been the "newest" at my first meeting, however by listening to others, not placing a bet and doing the GA program I moved forwards. Today I am in a position where I am able to give something back.
I would ask you if there is a "SureStart" scheme where you live? This is designed to give new parents a helpful hand in life at, what for many, can be a daunting period. If this is not available, in your rural area, I would imagine there is a Mothers and Babies group - perhaps run by a local church. Please do not dismiss this suggestion as it contains the word 'church'. Again the principle is that you'll meet other people in the same boat as you ie new Mums. Admittedly not all will be compulsive gamblers (as would be the case if you attended a 'closed' meeting of Gamblers Anonymous where all attendees are compulsive gamblers wishing to stop their gambling and lead a better life) some may be, but all should be Mums so you'll have plenty to talk about.
You say you've read all the books you own. Perhaps you could join the library? Reading exercises the mind they say. Looking for something to give you the same, or a similar, "buzz", to gambling, is, in my experience, likely to be a fruitless search. Pursuing it is likely to waste time you could be putting to good use in getting onto the recovery program of GA. It is also probable that this search will take you down the wrong path, to a dead end, perhaps literally. Beware.
Finally, there is an 'online' meeting in the GA chatroom on this website on a Thursday evening. This may put you in touch with others in similar situations all around the globe (there could even be someone near where you live who you can meet with and set up a new GA meeting!). I personally find face to face meetings more helpful than online ones but we must tailor our suit needs to match our cloth availability. Try to steer clear from putting that first bet on and you won't lose your stake.

Hope this is helpful.

'Poster' David

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