17-07-2011, 03:29 AM
Kimberley,
Hi and welcome to the formum. Between the age of 17-26 I also admitted to know one that gambling was all I thought about..it was like my drug my poison, I was only happy and comfortable when "in action". I did everything imanginable during this time and in honesty its only by chance im still alive now.
I slept rough, never ate properly, stole (i used to call it to borrow!) and was generally a lying little toerag. Some who were unfortunate to come close enough to be bitten by my poison would get hurt..
Then everything changed for me when the first day I walked into a GA room and talked to others that understood, it still was a long road before I felt comfortable to say everything is "my own fault".
Friends would say to me during the age of 17-26 that I had a problem...would I listen nope...I would instead begin to hide my gambling from those who cared...
Life had at that time only one purpose...to either gamble or find a way to gamble.
Between the ages of 26-30 along with a lot of bad things that happened in my life they did so for a reason..I needed to change...
Now nearly 36 I do say for today....Just for today I did not gamble...I dont think of it..I instead fear it....my drive is to get through the day doing something brighter...better...something worthwhile...something structured...
I was never a bad man but gambling made me a bad man....now that I am free from its shackles then I can concentrate on being a good man instead....
You can only do your best in life and if gambling is ruining that life then sometimes the difficult choice is the best choice...
I am lucky in the fact I made some difficult choices....I went to GA...I didnt want to go...because I was so used to hiding...it took me a while to enter...but I went in...and I came out without fear....it was the start of my life from that day forth...
today ask me a question and I will offer an honest answer....
"god grant me the serenity to acceot the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"
I was an athiest but now I have belief.
I was a compulsive gambler, I still am, but now I control that by not allowing it to control me.
Do I want something for nothing in life, do I feel life OWES me, no, instead I wake up, do my job, go to sleep with a hope one day that following a path I believe is better for me is worthwhile and meaningfull.
Kimberley, there is no shame to go to GA...im proud I faced upto this, proud that although I lost friends, lost respect, i faced this...respect will come back once again, it takes time and the longer and more days you can say "just for today I did not gamble" the closer you are to fulfillment..the closer you are to being respected again...the closer you are to not having an addictive personality but one that leads...
Go to your local GA if not for yourself but for ME...because I write this wishing that all those who are in the same situation as me can see what I have seen...
TC
Barrie
Hi and welcome to the formum. Between the age of 17-26 I also admitted to know one that gambling was all I thought about..it was like my drug my poison, I was only happy and comfortable when "in action". I did everything imanginable during this time and in honesty its only by chance im still alive now.
I slept rough, never ate properly, stole (i used to call it to borrow!) and was generally a lying little toerag. Some who were unfortunate to come close enough to be bitten by my poison would get hurt..
Then everything changed for me when the first day I walked into a GA room and talked to others that understood, it still was a long road before I felt comfortable to say everything is "my own fault".
Friends would say to me during the age of 17-26 that I had a problem...would I listen nope...I would instead begin to hide my gambling from those who cared...
Life had at that time only one purpose...to either gamble or find a way to gamble.
Between the ages of 26-30 along with a lot of bad things that happened in my life they did so for a reason..I needed to change...
Now nearly 36 I do say for today....Just for today I did not gamble...I dont think of it..I instead fear it....my drive is to get through the day doing something brighter...better...something worthwhile...something structured...
I was never a bad man but gambling made me a bad man....now that I am free from its shackles then I can concentrate on being a good man instead....
You can only do your best in life and if gambling is ruining that life then sometimes the difficult choice is the best choice...
I am lucky in the fact I made some difficult choices....I went to GA...I didnt want to go...because I was so used to hiding...it took me a while to enter...but I went in...and I came out without fear....it was the start of my life from that day forth...
today ask me a question and I will offer an honest answer....
"god grant me the serenity to acceot the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"
I was an athiest but now I have belief.
I was a compulsive gambler, I still am, but now I control that by not allowing it to control me.
Do I want something for nothing in life, do I feel life OWES me, no, instead I wake up, do my job, go to sleep with a hope one day that following a path I believe is better for me is worthwhile and meaningfull.
Kimberley, there is no shame to go to GA...im proud I faced upto this, proud that although I lost friends, lost respect, i faced this...respect will come back once again, it takes time and the longer and more days you can say "just for today I did not gamble" the closer you are to fulfillment..the closer you are to being respected again...the closer you are to not having an addictive personality but one that leads...
Go to your local GA if not for yourself but for ME...because I write this wishing that all those who are in the same situation as me can see what I have seen...
TC
Barrie