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messing myh life up
#1
To cut a long story short:

been gambling for at leat 15 years (im 30 years old)
have a good job however gambling leaves me with nothing mid way through the month and am constantly borrowing.

reasons for gambling
1)Like all sport - however am beginning to think how much i like it anymore as i dont feel happy watching with no bet placed.
2)feel the need to gamble as it makes me feel relaxed to know the bet has been placed, stupid even though i am, mostly guessing and going for odds. (like last night betting on tennis which i was not even viewing, purly on watching the odds change i was betting...)
3)dont like money getting less in the bank - gamble to try and pay for things.

Reasons i want to stop
1)messing my life up - to the point of living of pennys from about the 5th of the month
2)not fair to my wife
3)feel like i have not enjoyed the last 3 to 4 years
4)have borrowed money and without the intention to gamble have still gambled.
5)not paying bills, have gambled bills money away the last 3 months.
6) i find myself betting in work and paying more attention to bet rather than work itself

Ive spoke to my wife and she wants me to look for help, for the first time ever i can accept that i should stop completly.

Im guessing i have a problem which is not controlable, but should be.
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#2
Hey Lewis,
Welcome to the forum at GA, I hope you read.

I like you love sport, I like you used to think I must have a bet on it, I like you am a compulsive gambler.

Its not normal to live the way your living, I know as I have been there!!! for many years I kept going back to it, kept banging my head on the brick wall.

That was like you until I hit 30, potless, pennyless, and realising I "had to change" I did. For me now its really satisfying that I can watch a football match, watch some cricket or which ever sport and just think about the sport not a loss, or a bet, or what I may win.

See gambling is a rollercoaster, it truly is. We all want something for nothing and when you start to live "just for today" and go a long time without gambling you realise how nice it is to sometimes take a break and watch some sport, life takes on different meanings.

The best place to go is GA and admission, that we are SELFISH in everything and we should "give up control" so we can focus on WORK, FUTURE and that way and only that way do we realise how stupid we have been before.

TC

Barrie
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#3
lewis Wrote:To cut a long story short:

been gambling for at leat 15 years (im 30 years old)
have a good job however gambling leaves me with nothing mid way through the month and am constantly borrowing.

reasons for gambling
1)Like all sport - however am beginning to think how much i like it anymore as i dont feel happy watching with no bet placed.
2)feel the need to gamble as it makes me feel relaxed to know the bet has been placed, stupid even though i am, mostly guessing and going for odds. (like last night betting on tennis which i was not even viewing, purly on watching the odds change i was betting...)
3)dont like money getting less in the bank - gamble to try and pay for things.


Reasons i want to stop
1)messing my life up - to the point of living of pennys from about the 5th of the month
2)not fair to my wife
3)feel like i have not enjoyed the last 3 to 4 years
4)have borrowed money and without the intention to gamble have still gambled.
5)not paying bills, have gambled bills money away the last 3 months.
6) i find myself betting in work and paying more attention to bet rather than work itself


Ive spoke to my wife and she wants me to look for help, for the first time ever i can accept that i should stop completly.

Im guessing i have a problem which is not controlable, but should be.


Hello mate.
Just read your post and it was as if somebody just walked over my grave. That could've been written by me, except I'm almost 33 and not 30...

I'm not an expert, in fact I'm only 18 days into my new recovery, but you have to act now before it's too late.
The fact that you've spoken to your wife already, means that you have an advantage over myself and a lot of others who've been in the same position.
I haven't lost my wife yet, but I've virtually got to the point of no return before I decided to change. I kept things from her and lied about my finances until I ran out of borrowing options. I have no-one who can bail me out anymore and it's only now that my actions have finally taken over our lives.

Your wife knows you gamble, but does she know about the money you've borrowed and the bills you haven't been paying? If she doesn't know the full story, then I suggest you tell her now or go to a meeting before you reach that point of no return. Your wife may not be as understanding, when there's no food in the house or you're about to lose the roof over your head...

You also say you have a problem that should be "controllable". Sadly if you want to get on top of gambling, it's not about controlling the gambling, it's about stopping it all together. You can't do a couple of quid here or there, because you will always go back to the bad habits. I know that from experience. <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: -->

I would suggest going along to a GA meeting, it's the only way you can break this cycle.

Good luck mate.
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#4
thanks for your replies all.

I have told my wife everything i.e borrowing etc, she has been great the last few days and baught me a book on getting over problems.

Ive been gamble free for only 5 days but considering my bank statments show about 20 bets a day for the last 3 years i guess its progress.

(ive even managed to do some work in work!!)

I whent to a christening yesterday and was speaking with a person who was trying to get over alchaholism and cocaine addiction (he was drinking non alchaholic), it put things into perspective for me, it made me think i had simmiler traits and need to keep going with the non betting!

I will keep in touch and update regularly.

thanks

Againg - i read all your post - thanks
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#5
Lewis,
Thanks for the update and I would just like to say "WELL DONE" in opening upto your wife.

There are however a few things you need to consider and a "book" unless its a small orange one will not help you much.

Have you thought about attending a GA meeting? because if you do and by the sounds of your betting pattern it could help you to.

The other thing is to abstain forever and lead a new path then giving over control of finances is a major major step to recovery.

I dont really have access to cash, its drip fed to me.

But thats my understanding of my desease.

Well done for some steps and the five days, go to a meeting and make it a lifetime.

TC

Barrie
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#6
barrieexgambler Wrote:There are however a few things you need to consider and a "book" unless its a small orange one will not help you much.


Absolutely spot on mate. Although at the same time, well done Lewis for abstaining for 5 days.
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#7
Thanks guys/girls.

Unfortunatly i cant get to a GA meeting due to work commitments. Have had the urge/feeling to gamble (it feels like i find myself sometimes thinking i should be checking something during the day - i have replaced checking the odds with checking this site and other unharmful sites) but have restricted myself, I have found stopping myself looking for the price of odds has helped curb the need.

I have been filling my time up with training in the morning and training in the evening after work... I also exempteded myself from a betting establishment (my biggest habit).

will keep posted,
Lewis
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