28-09-2011, 12:47 AM
Hi there! Thanks for sharing your story.
Although it is different to mine, it also has many similarities. I too have lost a lot of friends over the years as I have alienated them, partly through borrowing money from them and never paying it back and partly because like your friends, they all started settling down and making lives for themselves while I stayed stuck in the same place doing the same thing day in day out and spending money that I didn't have.
It is very good that you have realized that you have a problem, and if you haven't done already I strongly urge you to find your local meeting via the meetings part of this site and to go along as soon as possible. It would also be a good idea if you can talk to your mam about it and if there is a local GamAnon meeting which is for friends and family members to get support, I would recommend that you encourage her to go along to those meetings as this will not only help her to deal with your gambling but also help her to support you on your road to recovery.
You said that you have in the past given over control of your finances to your father. It is advisable that you ask your mam if she would be willing to take control of your finances for you. It is very difficult to manage your own finances as a gambler, bordering on impossible, so if you can hand control of them over to someone else then this will aid your recovery. After all, if we haven't got access to money then we can't gamble it all away so it can be used to start the process of paying off our debts and gradually wiping the slate clean.
I'm still early on my journey to recovery, but from the support that I have received so far both here and from my group I feel that sharing with you what I have learnt so far is beneficial to both of us.
I wish you well with your court date and on your journey to recovery. It isn't easy, but by taking it one day at a time we can get there, and as such you will find that you start to regain your life and rediscover yourself as gradually the past can be put behind you.
Although it is different to mine, it also has many similarities. I too have lost a lot of friends over the years as I have alienated them, partly through borrowing money from them and never paying it back and partly because like your friends, they all started settling down and making lives for themselves while I stayed stuck in the same place doing the same thing day in day out and spending money that I didn't have.
It is very good that you have realized that you have a problem, and if you haven't done already I strongly urge you to find your local meeting via the meetings part of this site and to go along as soon as possible. It would also be a good idea if you can talk to your mam about it and if there is a local GamAnon meeting which is for friends and family members to get support, I would recommend that you encourage her to go along to those meetings as this will not only help her to deal with your gambling but also help her to support you on your road to recovery.
You said that you have in the past given over control of your finances to your father. It is advisable that you ask your mam if she would be willing to take control of your finances for you. It is very difficult to manage your own finances as a gambler, bordering on impossible, so if you can hand control of them over to someone else then this will aid your recovery. After all, if we haven't got access to money then we can't gamble it all away so it can be used to start the process of paying off our debts and gradually wiping the slate clean.
I'm still early on my journey to recovery, but from the support that I have received so far both here and from my group I feel that sharing with you what I have learnt so far is beneficial to both of us.
I wish you well with your court date and on your journey to recovery. It isn't easy, but by taking it one day at a time we can get there, and as such you will find that you start to regain your life and rediscover yourself as gradually the past can be put behind you.