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Guidance and advice
#1
Hello there,

I came across this forum and just wanted to ask you for some advice perhaps since I am feeling so helpless.

Last weekend things escalated between my boyfriend and myself. Up until now I wasn’t aware he has such an issue with gambling. He had mentioned it to me before that he had gambled in the past and spent huge amounts of money but I wasn’t aware it was that bad until last Saturday.
I (foolishly) trusted him with my credit card in order to meet his friends for a meal but instead he went to the casino in Leicester Square when his friends cancelled unexpectedly.
I couldn’t get hold of him for hours and feared he had gone gambling with my card which turned out to be right. He confessed to having spent hundreds desperately trying to win back his losses. He was afraid to come home since he was afraid it would be the end of our relationship and I would kick him out my flat.
Needless to say I have had the biggest rows I can remember ever having had with anyone on Saturday evening and Sunday morning. He agreed to seeking help and I want him to attend a meeting this evening.
It seems he is recognising he has a problem and is seeking help and has contacted the gambling section of the NHS and another organisation, the latter can only see him on the 30th April.
I am desperate for him to get help and to learn more myself as to how I can support him, get him better and stop this nightmare that is starting to ruin our beautiful relationship. Whilst writing this I am fighting my tears since I love him so much and just want him to get better (if that is the right phrase?)
I really someone can give me some guidance to help him.

J.
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#2
Hi Loving,

Every day I am reminded that I have an addictive personality....

I accept I am a compulsive gambler and always will be..although my last bet was on 17th August 2003, i still think about gambling regularly. I feel i owe my recovery to a combination of many factors - the GA recovery program, meetings, honest, a great family and friends support network and a lot of hard work...

If he wants to stop...maybe he could check out his nearest GA meeting....i found it too hard to stop on my own...

Recovery for me is more than stopping gambling....its about changing who I am as a person...and learning to become a better one...Only then can I continue to recover on a daily basis from this horrible addiction...

What I can say is there is hope in my life....and I see this reflected back on a weekly basis at GA meetings....

Just a reminder that Gam-anon (the support network for friends and family of compulsive gamblers) can be contacted via details on the main ga page...
I know my family continue to use gam-anon support and it not only helps them to help me, but they tell me it gives them massive support too...

Wishing you the best
Smartie
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