Today I admitted my problem

[smartie]

I am attending a GA meeting tomorrow night but if anyone can offer any words of advice from experience that would help me explain to my girlfriend and help her understand even just a little I would be very grateful.

I think they call this Day 1 - the road ahead seems so daunting - give me strength.

First thing I would say is welcome...

It was not easy admitting I had a problem with gambling either but it was the start of a journey that I am still taking towards becoming a better person who is also a recovering compulsive addict.

Compulsive gambling is an illness, progressive in its nature which can never be cured, but can be arrested a day at a time.. IF you've crossed the invisible line into compulsive gambling it doesn't just go away

When I read the above words it did scare me. No cure wow ok so i'm going to be suffering with this forever, but I then realised there was a lot of hope in recovery too

I am part of a fellowship that supports me as much as I support myself and others. GA is amazing but its also not an easy programme.

First words of wisdom I was given...give ga 12 weeks...if after that you feel ga’s helping you, take it a week at a time...if you don’t feel ga’s helping you...plenty more misery out there if you want it...
but during those 12 weeks..really commit...work the programme, attend as many meetings per week as you can, keep in touch with other members etc

My relationships with family and friends are so different now. When I first stared GA they were not positive...now they are, but its something I continue to work at daily..

So hope yes there is lots of hope GScot..
Remember HOW = Honesty, Open mindedness and a Willingness to change

All the best..let us know how your recovery is going
Smartie xx

[BigDave]

Hi GScot

Well done for admitting you are an addict. It is a big deal addict to admit reality because it is everything an addict tries to hide from. Many people come to GA with their relationship on the brink of disaster, that crunch point often triggers a cry for help. Hopefully you are not trying to stop gambling for yourself not just to salvage your relationship.

I will not attempt to give you any advice, in fact nobody here is remotely qualified to give advice, especially going on our track records! I could advise you on the best way to ruin the rest of your life, I feel like I have a degree in that! After 25 years of irresponsible gambling and constantly hitting all-time lows regularly I think I qualify.

In my experience though, that old saying 'actions speak louder than words', is something to take notice of. I don't know about you but I could lie through my teeth (comes with the territory as a compulsive gambler) and the day I truly decided to stop gambling words meant nothing, especially when it came to salvaging my relationship.

It was too late for me but it doesn't have to be for you. I have seen many GA members gain back the trust and respect from their partners after a relatively short period of time. The change is often broadly visible after just a few months (if not weeks) of attending GA meetings. Very few relationships end if the person giving up is sincere in their efforts to stop gambling. The odds really are in your favour (ironically, maybe for the first time!), but the effort has to come from you.

Keep an open mind at the meeting. I am sure there will be a lot to take in. But, whether you feel comfort or discomfort, keep attending meetings. They seem strange at first, a bit like going the senior school for the first time, you don't quite know what you're walking into. But given time meetings tend to grow on you and become you accustomed to them.
I hope things work out for you.

Big Dave