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Loser does it again
#1
Hello bob..
GA works...but i've got to take it up and work it...
Sorry you're finding life tough at the moment...
I struggle still but there is so much help in GA...

Hope you get to your nearest meeting ASAP and start working it...
Smartie xx
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#2
It's easy to pass the blame for your breakout. Unfortunately, the truth is they never 'stole' your money, you gave it to them.

Nobody ever made me gamble, it was all down to me. The problem is within me. My addiction, my need to escape reality makes me want to bet. And when I was in my bubble (in the zone, or whatever you wish to call it) it works perfectly, it is a coping mechanism that I became accustomed to for such a long period of time. But it can never last for ever, reality will always spoil the day for me because my problem is I cannot cope with it.

GA gives me the guidance I need for me to cope with reality. The program offers me the ability to learn new coping mechanisms. I cannot allow myself to go back to relying on the old traits (that never helped in the long run) just because things are getting tough.

Money was never my problem, never was debt. A big win would never solve my problem. On page 6 of the GA orange book it states that 'the GA program will always work for anyone who wants to stop gambling' and I believe that's true. So why do people break out? Obviously they are not working the program in its entirety. Complacency was a word that I had never heard before I attended a GA meeting, but I cannot remember a week in my 8.5 years (since my first meeting) that I haven't heard that word. It is a great contributing factor in why people break out.

I would ask anyone who continues to break out "have you forgotten the meaning of Step one, or do you even understand its true meaning?" And also "do you do everything suggested on pages 30 and 31 of the orange book, do you even try?!" If the answer to those questions is a negative one (especially the last one) then what do you expect. Recovery is not free, it doesn't just happen because you haven't had a bet.

Andy, as I have mentioned to you before, the help is out there, but it's up to you to take it. If you continue to try to do things 'your way' then you should probably expect to get the same if not worse results. I know things are hard for you right now but it really doesn't have to be that way.

Big Dave (Uxbridge/Eastcote)
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#3
smartie Wrote:Hello bob..
GA works...but i've got to take it up and work it...
Sorry you're finding life tough at the moment...
I struggle still but there is so much help in GA...

Hope you get to your nearest meeting ASAP and start working it...
Smartie xx

Frustrating Andy...sometimes working hard isn't always the right solution...
Sometimes working SMART is....

Hope you accept the help GA offers...
Smartie xx
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#4
It doesn't have to be that way!

It doesn't have to be that way!

It doesn't have to be that way!

Until you stop trying to do this on your own, unfortunately though, nothing is gonna change. It doesn't have to be a white knuckle ride.

Stopping gambling and then do the bare minimum to stay stopped, what do you expect though. I know this may sound a tad harsh but the softly softly approach isn't working is it?!

I have no idea what it is like to break out, especially after a fair amount of time. How much more can you take? Do you want to find out? If every time you break out things get worse, can you image what it will be like next time? Do you really want to put yourself through more?!

On the 14th Feb 2006 I decided I didn't want to feel any more of what I was going through. I had to stubbornly make a massive decision, a life-changing decision. I had to stop doing things 'My Way' and accept the guidance of the 'GA Way'. For sure, there was a part of me that didn't want to, as the comfort of the old coping mechanisms (even though they were ruining me) were hard to let go of. It 'went against the grain' and was almost impossible to bare at first, but I persevered, I did what was suggested to me (granted not everything, but more than most) and low and behold I was now staying off gambling. Miracle.

Going to regular meetings showed me how people not adhering to working the program would break out and often not come back. I could not allow that to happen to me as I had had enough of that pain. I would be reminded of the pain every week through others' therapies and of course my own. So I decided to work on my recovery not just my abstinence. I am continually working on my recovery, I haven't gone a week without a meeting for more than 8 years, I give back to GA in every way I can, I do not think it is a coincidence that I still haven't had a bet.

At my first meeting I was asked one simple question which I will ask you:

"What are you prepared to do to stop gambling?!"

Big Dave (Uxbridge/Eastote)
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#5
If you really are prepared to do anything then check out pages 30-31 of the orange book and do what it suggests. Accept the help on offer and put the effort in, Allow the help and support of other GA members into your life rather than trying to do it on your own.

One other thing, whenever you feel it getting difficult or you get that urge to gamble remind yourself of the answer you have just given to that question. With any luck it might remind you of the pain you were feeling when you said it. And remember, you said it.

Big Dave (Uxbridge/Eastcote)
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