12-05-2011, 05:58 AM
Dizzy11
Funny how two complete strangers can have identicle life stories.
It was the jewellery and lies that got me too. I have given him back the remaining trinkets which funnily enough are the things he has bought me. He only sold the stuff my parents bought me and I am coming to realise that it was not a deliberate choice of items to steal, but the cold hard fact that it was worth more money.
The fact that you feel you cannot cope with going to a meeting, is all the more reason to go.
When things started going wrong for me, I broke down at work and of course my personality changed. I found myself telling colleagues some things (not the whole story and not the gambling side of it for I was too ashamed). The fact is, we work and live with all sorts of personalites and I found that a handful were sympathetic, some enjoyed the gossip that my life was falling apart, and unfortunately some thrived on the fact that their lives were so perfect! The old saying eh - you know who your friends are.
The guys and girls at the meeting - made no judgement and with everything confidential, I was able to say anything I wanted. I don't think I will be telling anyone else my troubles, family, friends and colleagues. I will keep it for the meeting - It is sort of locked away there until I want to attend again. There will be gossip at work, but this will die down and I will be able to walk in the tea room without it going suddenly quiet. This helps me to keep it together and yesterday at work, for the first time, I did not cry.
Today, I feel that I can get through work again without tears - I know this is not the end of it, but at the next meeting I will take the phone numbers of members (which they all offered and I declined) and when I get to breaking point, I will phone them. I feel safer doing this and like I said, I can lock it all away again.
I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do, but I like the fact that I deal with this when I want to, and not because family or friends have asked you how you are - and stirred up all the emotions.
Keep going Dizzy - please consider a meeting, I promise you, you cannot feel any worse than you do now.
This is not the big happy ending for me - every day is a struggle, I am at rock bottom, but I have realised that it will not get any worse. I am raw with emotion, empty and cold, but I have somewhere to take my secrets where I know they will never get out and this has made me feel a little safer xx
Funny how two complete strangers can have identicle life stories.
It was the jewellery and lies that got me too. I have given him back the remaining trinkets which funnily enough are the things he has bought me. He only sold the stuff my parents bought me and I am coming to realise that it was not a deliberate choice of items to steal, but the cold hard fact that it was worth more money.
The fact that you feel you cannot cope with going to a meeting, is all the more reason to go.
When things started going wrong for me, I broke down at work and of course my personality changed. I found myself telling colleagues some things (not the whole story and not the gambling side of it for I was too ashamed). The fact is, we work and live with all sorts of personalites and I found that a handful were sympathetic, some enjoyed the gossip that my life was falling apart, and unfortunately some thrived on the fact that their lives were so perfect! The old saying eh - you know who your friends are.
The guys and girls at the meeting - made no judgement and with everything confidential, I was able to say anything I wanted. I don't think I will be telling anyone else my troubles, family, friends and colleagues. I will keep it for the meeting - It is sort of locked away there until I want to attend again. There will be gossip at work, but this will die down and I will be able to walk in the tea room without it going suddenly quiet. This helps me to keep it together and yesterday at work, for the first time, I did not cry.
Today, I feel that I can get through work again without tears - I know this is not the end of it, but at the next meeting I will take the phone numbers of members (which they all offered and I declined) and when I get to breaking point, I will phone them. I feel safer doing this and like I said, I can lock it all away again.
I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do, but I like the fact that I deal with this when I want to, and not because family or friends have asked you how you are - and stirred up all the emotions.
Keep going Dizzy - please consider a meeting, I promise you, you cannot feel any worse than you do now.
This is not the big happy ending for me - every day is a struggle, I am at rock bottom, but I have realised that it will not get any worse. I am raw with emotion, empty and cold, but I have somewhere to take my secrets where I know they will never get out and this has made me feel a little safer xx